


Youngblood

by RogueCompanion



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo is a Mess, Car Accidents, Communication Issues, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Happily Ever After, Limited Injury, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Manipulation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Poor Life Choices, Pregnancy, Rey Needs A Hug, Smut, Tags Contain Spoilers, Unplanned Pregnancy, Young people making mistakes, angry outbursts, discovery of car accident, keeping secrets, non-graphic, parental pressure, stop reading tags if you don't want to be spoiled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:22:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueCompanion/pseuds/RogueCompanion
Summary: Ben Solo is eager to achieve greatness, and follow in the footsteps of his mother. To do this, it means leaving behind things he values - his friends, his girlfriend - all to enter Ivy League Academia. What he wasn't prepared for, though, was having to choose between his future or his past, and the loneliness and pain his choices may bring.-Thanks to my incredible Beta,MyJediLifefor writing this amazing summary!





	1. The Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this story popped into my head from a single line in a song from the musical Hamilton: An American Musical, the story just kind of morphed from there. It's the first time I've really explored writing angst so I hope I'm able to elicit an emotional reaction from readers, without scarring anyone, hopefully. As a heads up, this story will have a happy ending, so try not to worry too much. If you have any thoughts or questions, feel free to reach out to me at any time, my contact info will be linked at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this journey!

[ ](https://imgur.com/2S4SstX)

 

Something fluttered against his chest, the gentle tickling caress pulling him into wakefulness from his deep, contented sleep. 

 

He became aware of the soft early morning light sneaking in from beyond the edges of the blinds, birds chirping loudly outside the windows, and beside him, the warm, soft body of his love curled around him. Her fluttering eyelashes and soft kisses being the catalyst for his return from the dreamworld. 

 

Pulling her tighter against him, he kissed the top of her head. “Good morning, my love,” his rough voice murmured into her hair. 

 

“Mm. I love you, Ben.” She snuggled deeper into him before stretching up and kissing him deeply on the mouth. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you today. Can’t you just stay one more day? And one more after that? And one more after that?” Each statement was emphasized with a kiss placed to a different part of his face, each landing on a feature she hoped to commit to memory in his absence. A freckle here, a mole there, his aquiline Grecian nose, the strong brow line, the sharp narrow jawline, finally ending right back where she started - on his plush, full lips. He moaned into her mouth. 

 

“God I wish. I wish you were coming with me. But we’ll talk everyday, and I’ll be home at the end of the semester.” He stared into her face, his eyes mapping his own snapshot of this gorgeous woman. The freckles dusting across her face, her brilliant hazel eyes, the quirk of her smile. How was he going to be able to exist without her for so long?

 

“I will be waiting here for you, and counting the days until you finally return.” She smiled wistfully at him, causing a laugh to escape from deep in his chest. 

 

“You sound like a poor maiden sending her husband off to war! It’s just college, babe. It’ll be over before you know, and then I’ll be back here and we’ll be together again, inseparable this time.”

 

“I know. I’m being dramatic. I just love you so much!” She hugged him close once more, before moving away to glance at the time on the clock sitting on the bedside table. 

 

“And unfortunately, our separation starts now. I’ve got to get up and open the shop since your dad is driving you.” She groaned, moving to extract herself from his arms. 

 

He held onto her tighter. “No! Couldn’t he have gotten Uncle Chewie to do it? What was he thinking?” His arms prevented her from doing much more than just squirm against him, far too tight for her to actually break free from, but not so tight that it hurt. 

 

“He’s out of town, remember? First vacation he’s taken in like, two decades, and it had to be the worst possible week, right?” She stopped trying to fight him, pulling herself up once more and kissing him deeply. Managing to work her naked thighs on either side of his bare chest, straddling his middle as she reached up and ran her fingers through his long, luscious hair, pulling just slightly. His arms loosened around her, one hand running up her back to hold her head to him, deepening the kiss. The other ran downwards, palming her naked ass cheek and kneading lightly. 

 

At this point two things happened at once. He felt his cock begin to stir, ready for an encore of what they had done the previous night, and then suddenly she was gone. She’d used his distraction to finally break free of his hold, and was immediately out of bed and searching the room for her discarded clothes from the evening before. 

 

“Oh, you are a cruel mistress indeed!” He growled at her playfully, “Look what you’ve done!” He gestured to his waist, hands framing either side of his large erection like some x-rated Vanna White. 

 

She giggled at his dramatic display. “I promise, you’ll live. Something for you to remember me by,” she winked at him over her shoulder as she pulled her shorts up over her hips. “I’ve got to get to work. You know I don’t want to leave you, but some of us have to work for what we want.” It was a common joke between them, him being the pampered prince and her the hardworking Cinderella. She did not come from the same kind of privilege that he did, but it wasn’t a crux on their relationship. His parents adored her, probably even more than he did. She hadn’t had the best go of it in life, but since meeting him things were much better. And she was grateful for the work she did. So there was truly no malice or resentment behind her words. 

 

“I happen to have it on good authority that your boss won’t fire you if you open just a few minutes late.” He had begun to move from the bed and stalk his way towards her. She was just hooking her bra in place when his arms caged her, pushing her back against the nearby wall. He kissed up her neck, towards her face, as one hand moved behind her back to unhook the bra once more. The fight fell out of her and she was once again deeply kissing him. 

 

A knock on the door just to the right of them shook them from their frenzy. 

 

“Ben! Time to get up, buddy. We got to be on the road soon.” His father’s deep voice called through the wood. 

 

Dropping his forehead against hers, he sighed. “Ok, dad. I’m getting up.” They heard footsteps moving away from the door. 

 

“God, this drive is going to kill me,” he whispered quietly to her. 

 

“Oh, and Ben?” His father’s voice rang out slightly louder than before, obviously coming from further down the hallway. “Please tell Rey that it’s ok if the shop isn’t open exactly on time, but she better be able to get all of today’s orders done.” There was obvious glee in his voice as he said this, knowing he’d caught them both with their pants down and embarrassing the shit out of them. The sound of his boots descending down the stairs echoed in the quiet between them. 

 

“How does he always know when I’m here?” She asked, a tinge of awe in her voice. 

 

“Who knows, but I think he just bought us time for a quickie!” He said excitedly as he began to unbutton her shorts, roughly pulling them down. 

 

He pulled her up against the wall, entering her quickly, as she wrapped her legs around his waist to help hold her in place. Their coupling was fast, but satisfying. Before long they were quietly groaning their mutual release into each other’s mouths. 

 

They dressed in quiet, after cleaning themselves off, and exited his room. 

 

Downstairs, he led her to the front door and kissed her sweetly. 

 

“I’m going to miss you so much, sweetheart.”

 

“I’m going to miss you, too. Please call me and let me know that you made it ok. Alright?” She hugged him tightly, trying to hold back the tears which were threatening to fall. 

 

“I will. And I’ll talk to you everyday. I’ll see you in just a few short months.” His throat was tight and the words came out strained. 

 

She kissed him one last time before pulling away and yelling out, slightly watery, “See you when you get back, Mr. Solo!”

 

“Damn it, Kid. Stop calling me that,” Han’s voice called out from the kitchen. 

 

She barked a laugh, looking into Ben’s eyes, before kissing her fingers and placing them against his chest just over his heart. “I love you.”

 

Then she turned and ran out the front door. 

 

The next few months would be very difficult, indeed.


	2. The Advisor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Ben settles in to college life, he meets a man willing to take him under his wing and help him accomplish his goals. However, the pressure of his regular coursework and the extra effort this man is all but demanding of him may just crush him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Future Chapters will be updated more quickly, this one was pushed back due to going to see Endgame yesterday, which was fantastic, BTW. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

[](https://imgur.com/MgEAQY4)

The first few weeks of the semester went by innocuously enough for Ben. The usual settling in to the dorm, getting to know any strange quirks of his roommate, class introductions, and familiarizing himself with the layout of campus. He was able to text and talk to Rey fairly regularly and hadn’t been too homesick.

 

As the semester rolled on though, he quickly began to realize just what an extreme undertaking his course choices had been. He’d wanted to speed up his college career, and in doing so piled on as many necessary introductory courses as he could to hopefully be able to move on to something more meaningful, and shorten his time away from his girl. He often wondered if they’d truly be able to make this work through his entire time as an undergrad, and pondered the idea of getting married and moving her out to Cambridge with him while he completed his graduate work at the law school.

 

He missed Rey so much, but it was less of an all consuming ache once he had something to focus on. And his classes definitely kept him busy, regular tests, essays, insane amounts of reading. It all kept him too busy to focus on much else. The calls to Rey had decreased significantly, but he texted with her whenever he got a few moments to shoot something her way.

 

Mid-way through October, Ben finally met with his academic advisor. An average sized feeble looking bald man, who walked with a limp named Alistair Snoke. He wasn’t sure how to take Mr. Snoke. The man appeared impressed by Ben’s lineage, and was eager to answer any of Ben’s questions and assist him in the direction he intended to proceed in. He was intrigued by Ben’s idea to power through his undergraduate work as fast as he could, and provided him with several suggestions to help him on his way, extra books to read, groups he could join, all things that would support him on his way to greatness, as the old man had put it. Despite all this, Ben still wasn’t entirely comfortable with the man. Though, he pushed the feeling aside, as he was providing very useful information.

 

The extra work Snoke had added to him, however, began to overwhelm him. His communication with Rey suffered even more. Guilt began to gnaw at him as he laid in bed in the evenings listening to his roommate snore. He missed her, and felt so neglectful, knowing that she was back home, working in his dad’s garage and taking classes as she could afford them. She got herself emancipated at 17, and had been on her own since then. Aside from his family and a handful of friends, she had no one. And now, he too had abandoned her. He prayed she wasn’t too upset by his increased absence. He was counting down the days until Thanksgiving holiday, at least then he’d be able to spend a bit of time with her.

 

He skipped any of the usual Halloween bashes, spending his time studying instead, a fact that tickled his advisor pink. And on into the month of November, responding to Rey’s text as often as he could, but still sticking his nose to the grindstone and doing as much as he could to get ahead. As the end of November loomed ahead, Mr. Snoke recommended that he stay on campus over the Thanksgiving holiday - suggesting that they only really got what equated to a long weekend, and it would be more beneficial to him to remain instead and focus on finishing the semester strong, as well as hinting that there were some meetings he might be able to set up with influential people that could be helpful to know later on. Ben, of course, agreed, knowing that while it sucked now, his future would be solid if he could do this, and he’d be that much better equipped to take care of Rey in the future as well.

 

With a heavy heart, he first called his mom. Letting her know that he wouldn’t be coming home after all, that some important meet and greets would be happening over the holiday and that he was sorry was hard. Her voice quivered a bit as she replied that she was sad to hear that, but understood that this was important to him.

 

Calling Rey was another story altogether. He had to psych himself up to hit the call button, knowing how difficult it would be to let her down like this once he’s heard her voice again after so long. Taking a steadying breath, he hit call and held the phone to his ear, hearing it ring a couple of times before someone picked up and the voice of an angel entered his ear.

 

“Ben! Oh my God, I miss you!”

 

“Hey Babe, I miss you too. God, it’s good to hear your voice.” His eyes closed tightly as he sat hunched in on himself on the edge of his bed, blocking out all his other senses so that he could put 100% of his focus on her gorgeous voice.

 

“How are you doing, love? I know you’ve been working so hard, are you at least taking care of yourself?”

 

He smiled, trust her to be worried about him, despite him being a whole ass adult. “Yes, I’m taking care of myself. I could probably use some more sleep, but whether it's you or the books, I’m always going to be distracted from that endeavor.” His smirk could be heard through the phone, and her responding ‘tut’ of faked indignance drew out a laugh.

 

“Well, as long as my keeping you from sleep is a good thing.”

 

“It most definitely is, Baby.”

 

A lull in conversation had the two of them listening to each other’s breathing before Rey’s voice cut in, sounding softer and more melancholy than he’d ever want to hear. “When do I get to see you again?” A slight giggle followed as she attempted to cheer herself up, “I’m starting to actually feel like that maiden whose love has gone off to war.”

 

His face, if she could see it, was itself a war of emotions, part of him wanting to laugh at her and the other part wanting to weep at her sadness, especially knowing what he was about to tell her. “That’s why I’m calling, actually,” he started out slowly, “some things have come up, and it would seem that it would be in my best interest to stay here over Thanksgiving. My advisor is hooking me up with some great new contacts, but we can only meet over that weekend. I’m so sorry, you don’t know how much it devastates me to not be able to see you.” Towards the end the words came out in a rush as he struggled to explain himself, and hope that she understood and wasn’t too upset.

 

“Oh.” The sound was so tiny, like it was unintentional and instead just a exhalation of air pushed through a tight throat, rather than an actual response. A shaky breath in followed, and he didn’t know which sound was worse. “W-well,” she paused, likely taking in a deep breath to steady herself, “you certainly can’t miss such a great opportunity. That sounds so lovely. I’m really happy for you.” Her voice spoke of many things, but happiness wasn’t one of them.

 

“Are you ok, Babe?” He was up now, pacing the length of his room, “I’m so sorry. You know I would give everything to be there with you. It’s just that this is something that could really be helpful in the future.”

 

“Oh Ben, I know that.” Her voice sounded watery now, and his fist clenched in response. “I’m so proud of you. You’re doing such a good job. I’m just being selfish, I miss you is all.”

 

“You’re not being selfish, love, you’re not.” He tried to reassure her. “I’m so sorry to disappoint you.”

 

“You didn’t, Ben. Please, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Just know that I’m here, waiting for you, your little war bride waiting for your return.” She laughed, but the sound of her tears rang through it. “I’ve got to get back to work. But I’m so glad I got to talk to you, and I love you so Goddamn much.”

 

“I love you too. I’ll talk to you soon, take care.”

 

He stayed stiff, completely still, phone against his ear long after the click of her hanging up sounded. Then, all at once, he snapped. Rage encompassing him, he screamed out and threw his phone against the bedroom wall. He’d made her cry. He was a monster. He needed to do something with his anger before he caused some irreparable damage to the dorm. Quickly removing his jeans and henley, resulting in a ripped shirt from his unrestrained movements, he switched into gym shorts and a t-shirt, picking up his phone to make sure it wasn’t broken, he attached his headphones and took off for a run.

 

Re-direction was a tactic his therapist had suggested several years ago, after his parents decided he needed to see someone about his anger issues in high school. He ran, music pumping in his ears, until he felt exhaustion settling into his bones and made his way back to his dorm. After a quick shower, he fell into bed, his roommate nowhere in sight, and let the tears fall. Frustration, longing, and sadness all warring within him. He’d make this up to her somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These poor babies just miss each other so much! Next chapter will be up on Monday. If you would like to discuss this story, or just chat Star Wars (or anything else) you can find me on Twitter [Rogue_Companion](https://twitter.com/Rogue_Companion) or Tumblr [ RogueCompanion](https://roguecompanion1812.tumblr.com)
> 
> Check out the Playlist for this fic! Have any suggestions to add? Hit me up!  
> [Youngblood Fic Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qr7pHP08xXmClxt97S3fz)
> 
> Special thanks to my Beta [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife), the freaking best!


	3. The Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Separation is a little more difficult than Rey expected it would be. Maybe a surprise from her found family can make her feel better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I just wanted to thank everyone who's taken the time to read this story thus far and especially those who have left comments and kudos, it means so much to me!
> 
> These first few chapters are pretty short, but they will get longer as the story progresses. I prefer not to make my chapters too long though so that busy people can enjoy little snippets in between the busy moments of their lives. This is why I'm choosing to update often instead of giving you a mountain of text all at once. 
> 
> Anyways, on with the story!

[ ](https://imgur.com/lETWhp8)

 

Rey hit the end button on her phone before clearing her throat and swiping roughly at the traitorous tears tracking down her face. She really did need to get back to work, but she didn’t want to alarm anyone with her red eyes or constant sniffles. She opened her camera on her phone and changed it to selfie mode, checking herself over to make sure she looked as normal as possible. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes, and, to be honest, looked a little pained. Sighing, she closed her phone once more and exited the small break room.

 

Upon reaching the shop, she ran right into Han and Chewie, deep in discussion. Han looked up upon hearing her approach, his head tilting sideways as he observed her face. “You just heard from Ben, didn’t you?” His voice was its usual gruff tone, but she could hear the concern underneath. Stiffening up her shoulders, she nodded, not trusting her voice. “And he told you about Thanksgiving?” Again she nodded. “You gonna be ok?”

 

She could no longer hold back her tears, cursing him and his concern, knowing she would have been ok if he just hadn’t said anything. “I just miss him so much!” she wailed, hating this show of weakness. 

 

Chewie stepped forward and pulled her into a firm hug, rubbing her back and mumbling that it’d be ok while glaring over her head at Han. Any idiot would have seen her trying to hold it together, and would have known to leave the subject alone. She cried for a few more minutes before pulling back and wiping her face clean once more.

 

“I’m sorry about that, I’m ok now,” she hated that they’d been witness to her outburst. “I’ll go finish up that Ford now. Sorry.” And with that she dashed away, leaving the two men to stare after her, before turning and sharing a look with each other. Something was wrong with their favorite mechanic, and it was more than her just missing Ben, but they couldn’t quite figure out what.

 

~~~

 

A week passed, and Rey continued to mope around the garage. Her work didn’t suffer, but she wasn’t her usual bubbly self, and it was honestly kind of bringing everyone else down. Han went home after a particularly somber day and told Leia about what was going on. Together, they hatched a plan to cheer her up.

 

Approaching Rey the next day at work, he handed her an envelope. 

 

“What’s this?” She asked, picking at the seal.

 

“Consider it an early Christmas present from Leia and I,” he said, attempting to be nonchalant.

 

Rey finally got the envelope open and pulled out its contents, staring at the piece of paper in her hand. “I-I can’t accept this.” In her hand was a ticket for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving to fly into Boston for four days, returning home Sunday morning.

 

“We can’t stand to see you moping anymore, Kid,” he looked at her uncomfortably, “Ben can’t come out here because of his meetings, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be busy the whole long weekend. Just cause he can’t be home doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be able to see you for at least a little bit.” 

 

Squealing, Rey threw her arms around him, partially out of joy, but mostly to hide the tears once again making their presence known to everyone currently in the garage. “How can I ever thank you both? You continue to do so much for me.” 

 

Han stood awkwardly for a moment, before slowly lowering his arms around her back. “Come on, Kid, you’re family. Even if you weren’t with Ben, you’re still family.” 

 

Her body shook with a sob. “If you were trying to make me stop crying, you should probably stop saying things like that,” her voice was choked with both tears and laughter, drawing a chuckle from Han as well.

 

“Well, then. Knock that shit off and get back to work. I’m not paying you to be all emotional,” his tone was firm, but there was no heat behind it. She laughed, pulling away from him and discreetly wiping her face, before saluting him and running off to work on the car she’d just pulled in. Her mood was significantly better knowing she’d be seeing her Ben in just a few short days.

 

~~~

 

Wednesday came quickly and Rey sat in the car with Leia, who’d offered to drive her to the airport, once more going over the map of the campus and where Ben’s dorm was. 

 

“Thank you again, so very much, for everything,” Rey said gratefully.

 

“Oh honey, of course! We just want you to be happy, both of you. You’ve had us all so worried lately.” Leia glanced softly over at her. “You look like you’re losing weight. Please tell me you are taking care of yourself?”

 

Rey smiled kindly at her, “Yes, I am taking care of myself. It’s just been such a big change. You know?” Glancing down contemplatively at her hands, she thought for a moment, before coming to an obvious decision. “I’ve been a bit sick lately, to be honest. I’ve lost a little weight, but not much, and I’m much better now.” She tried to reassure the woman so that she wouldn’t worry any more.

 

“Oh honey, you should have told us! We could have helped you.” Concern rang through the older woman’s voice.

 

“I didn’t want to be a bother, I was fine, just feeling yucky. I didn’t want to get you guys sick either. Don’t worry, everything is ok now.” She rushed to diffuse the situation. She hated feeling like a burden.

 

“Well, you let us know if you need us, please. You know I worry about you being all alone. I know you can handle things, but you’re family, and we take care of our own, you hear me?” 

 

Rey nodded, smiling at the woman. Butterflies filled her stomach as they approached the departures lane. Leia pulled up to the door for Rey’s particular airline and the girl hopped out. Leia exited her car as well and walked around to Rey’s side. 

 

Hugging the girl to her tightly, she bid her goodbye, “Travel safe, and please tell my son how much we miss him, and to call home more often.”

 

Rey smiled and squeezed the woman tightly, praying she wouldn’t start crying again, she was getting really freaking sick of being an emotional wreck. “I’ll give him an earful, just for you.” Both women laughed and Rey grabbed her duffle bag before waving at Leia once more and heading inside. Throwing a look at Rey’s back, Leia shook her head and re-entered her car, thinking to herself how children thought they were so smart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> And a very special thanks to my amazing Beta [ MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife)


	4. The Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy May the 4th!!! Here's the gift of smut for all you lovelies!
> 
> Rey and Ben enjoy a reunion that is perfectly them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently enjoy making a liar of myself, I apologize for the delay in this chapter, the end of this week was pretty rough. I just barely managed to limp out of it. I was going to post two chapters today to make up for it, but decided that I'd Probably just post once a day for the next three instead. 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this fun little chapter!

[](https://imgur.com/y14zLkw)

 

Ben spent the days following his conversation with Rey trying to dull his guilt by keeping busy, while still reaching out to her as often as he could. The week of Thanksgiving, the campus was basically shut down, most students leaving early in the week to return home to their families for the holiday. He was envious of them, to be honest, for some reason he hated the idea of missing the huge traditional meal with his family. Strange, because he’d always hated the holiday before. He spent a lot of his time in the library, reading the extra books Mr. Snoke had suggested, taking notes to be sure he had a solid foundation for the people he was meant to meet later in the week.

 

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving he spent the day lounging around the empty dorm, all three of his dorm mates having left to return home to their families. He had an appointment the next morning with Snoke and one of his contacts, so he was mentally preparing for that when he heard a knock at the main door of the shared living space. A glance at the clock on his bedside table told him it was already 7PM, and he was surprised at how late in the day it had become without his being aware. He picked himself up to answer the door, really not sure who it could possibly be waiting outside.

 

He opened the door without bothering to look and see who it was, prepared to tell whoever it was that everyone had left already. He pulled up short when he caught sight of the gorgeous woman in front of him. His mouth dropped open, and nothing but a gurgling sound pushing out of his throat could be articulated. He couldn’t be seeing this correctly.

 

“Well, handsome, you going to let me in? Or should I sit in the hall all evening?” the familiar lightly accented tone echoed in his ears.

 

Still unable to form words, he simply stepped back and held the door open wider to allow her entrance.

 

“Isn’t this a cozy little place?!” she gushed, looking around at the small living area.

 

He nodded, slowly closing the door behind her. She was here, somehow, some way, his Rey was standing in his dorm. His completely empty dorm. His thoughts caught up with the rest of him, and something inside of him snapped. Before he realized it, he had her body shoved up against the door, his mouth frantically attacking hers.

 

He could feel her smile as he basically mauled her face. “My God!” he mumbled between kisses, “I can’t believe you’re actually here!”

 

She laughed breathily as he began to move his kisses away from her mouth and down her neck. Focusing on the area where neck and shoulder met. She knew she’d have a lovely mark there later. “An early Christmas present from your parents,” she huffed out, eyes rolling upwards as she savored his affections.

Groaning, his forehead fell to her shoulder, pressing his face into the top of her chest. “Please don’t talk about my parents right now. I can’t think of them and all the things I want to do to you at the same time.” He began mouthing at the skin of her chest, nuzzling the fabric of her shirt out of his way so he could reach the tops of her breast with his tongue.

 

“Sure thing, Babe.” She giggled as she felt him lift her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Giggles turned into a full blown laugh as he began to move purposefully in the direction of a door deeper into the dorm, assuming correctly that he was taking her in the direction of his bed.

 

He dropped her down gently on top of his mattress, before pulling back to look at her intently. A frown crossed his features. “This will never do…” he began to look around before moving away from her, in the direction of the other bed in the room. He began pushing it, one side and then the other, until both twin sized mattresses sat flush against one another and he climbed back on top to rest beside her. She laughed at the self satisfied look on his face.

 

“Still a far cry from the king sized bed you have at home, huh?” she asked, staring deeply into his eyes.

 

“Yes, but it absolutely serves its purpose,” he said, as his large hand reached down to her waist and began to pull her soft cotton t-shirt up her torso. She raised her arms to assist him as the bottom of the shirt reached her clavicle, raising her upper shoulder, neck, and head as well. But he stopped pulling as it passed her lips, simultaneously holding her arms hostage above her head and blindfolding her. She laughed, trying to push his hands away and struggle free, to no avail. His lips met hers in a deep kiss and he finally relented, pulling the shirt from her body at last, tossing it to the side before moving his hands to cup her chest.

 

She groaned into his kiss as his hands began to knead the flesh of her breasts. His right hand began a descent to her side, and then under her back, moving skillfully to unclasp her bra with practiced ease. Moving back to her front, he worked to remove that garment from her as well. He leaned back, observing her bare form from the waist up, taking in every inch of her. “God, I missed you so much. And these!” he emphasized his statement by placing his hands on the outer edge of each breast, pushing them together, before lowering his face and nuzzling himself in her cleavage. “I dream about these, constantly!” he finished with a kiss to the tip of each one.

 

She looked down lovingly at his face, “Just those?” She asked with a smile on her face. “The rest of me is chopped liver, but the boobs, those are the piece de resistance. The only part of me worth interrupting your sleep for?”

 

He laughed, burying his face between them once more. “Nah, this gorgeous ass made a few cameos most nights as well.” As he said this, one hand moved down and grasped a handful of said ass through her jeans, squeezing tightly.

 

She laughed at his antics, batting away the hand attached to her butt, before reaching for the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards. He pulled away from her to assist with the removal of the offending article of clothing, grabbing it from her hands and tossing it somewhere in the room behind him. Her hands immediately began to trace the hard planes of his chest and stomach.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to gain a bunch of weight in college?” She asked jokingly.

 

“You’re hilarious, Baby,” he gave her a fake annoyed look before lowering himself to cover her chest and stomach in kisses, while making his way down to the top of her jeans. “I gotta keep in top form, otherwise my hot girlfriend might find someone better.” Saying this, he popped the button at the top of her pants, followed by slowly lowering the zipper beneath it.

 

“I have it on good authority that there is no one better, and you’re basically stuck with her.” She lifted her hips to assist him in pulling down her pants down, and he took the underwear along with it.

 

“Well, I have been informed that the feeling is mutual, so that means she’s stuck with me, too.” He gave her a cheeky grin before quickly lowering his face to the apex of her thighs and beginning to devour her center. She gasped at the unexpected fervor with which he pleasured her. Tongue, lips, and teeth worked together to quickly bring her to the brink of climax. Bringing a hand up and pushing one finger into her tight entrance, he groaned just imagining how incredible that was going to feel around another part of his anatomy.

 

He pushed the finger in and out, working her up, and slowly added another finger, curling them both up slightly to catch that slightly rougher patch inside of her. A few passes over this area, and she was clenching down on his fingers even more tightly, screaming her pleasure to the empty room.

 

Slowly, he retracted his fingers from her. Placing them into his mouth, closing his lips around them and sucking them clean, he hummed in appreciation, all the while looking straight into her dazed, half-closed eyes. He pulled them free with a pop, before leaning down and licking her clean. She shivered at the sensation, unable to prevent the whimper from escaping her throat.

 

When she could finally breathe normally once more, she smiled at him, “I’m so glad I made sure to wear my sexiest underwear, what with all the time you spent admiring them.”

 

“Cheeky little thing, aren’t you?” He reached forward and began to tickle her sides. “You had to have known what would happen the moment you walked through that door.” She squirmed and kicked at him, hoping to stop his attack on her sides with no luck.

 

“Ok! Ok, I give! Please stop.” She shrieked, still fighting to fend him off.

 

He pulled his hands away from her sides, placing them on either side of her head and kissing her deeply. “I really just can’t believe that you are here with me,” he said between kisses, looking deep into her eyes.

 

“I had to see you. I missed you so much, and so much has been going on, and I just need you so bad.” As she said this her hands moved down to undo the belt and fly on his own pants, pushing them down over his hips before gently reaching in and pulling his cock free, her hands moving to push the pants down further, out of her way. She gave a few solid pumps of the appendage, taking pleasure in the way his eyes rolled back into his head and he groaned deeply.

 

“I need you too. It’s been miserable without you.” He kissed all over her face.

 

Using his distraction, she pushed him off of her while simultaneously rolling on top of him, legs straddling his chest. He appeared surprised by her show of force, but let her proceed how she wished to. Slowly, and not at all seductively, she shimmied down his body until she trapped both his legs between her own. Leaning down, she licked the underside of his dick from bottom to top, pausing at the top to circle the head with her tongue. He stared down at the top of her head as she continued to play with his member, groaning deeply when she closed her lips around the tip of him and lowered as much as she could around him. The feeling of pushing up against the back of her throat was almost too much and he quickly pulled her off of him.

 

“Please, baby, I want to be inside you when I cum. I need you so much.”

 

Acquiescing, she pulled him from her mouth before crawling up his body on all fours. She kissed him, running her tongue along his lower lip, before, without warning, impaling herself on him, throwing her head back with a quiet scream. The stretch of him inside of her for the first time in months was almost overwhelming. Both sat perfectly still, panting, while they waited to adjust to this new sensation. His hands gripped at her hips tightly, she wouldn’t be surprised to find fingertip shaped bruises there in the morning, and the idea excited her. She liked wearing his marks.

 

After a few moments, she slowly lifted herself, raising up onto her knees, before dropping down once more to take him in fully. The rush of air leaving his chest pleased her, and so she continued, a slow, steady pace. Before long, it wasn’t enough for him, and he flipped her back over, pounding deeply and quickly into her tight quim. Each snap of his hips resulted in a burst of air being pushed from her lungs, she tried to speak but her throat was too tight with the pleasure, so each exhalation resulted in varying sounds of whines and whimpers. Like they were meant to be words, but not in any language he understood.

 

He was getting close, and he could tell she was too. Reaching one hand in between them, he began to circle her clit, murmuring into her ear, “Come on, baby girl, come for me.”

 

The extra friction proved to be exactly what she needed, and without much more coaxing than that, she was shattering around him. He roared his own release into her neck. The pulsing of her inner walls around him set him off in a chain reaction. A few shallow thrusts into her and he paused, shaking over top of her, both tense as they rode out their orgasms.

 

Once the last wave of pleasure moved through them, both melted, muscle and bones collapsing onto the bed. He attempted to at least make it to the side of her so as not to crush her, but still wound up smothering her with half his chest and one leg holding her down. She huffed, halfheartedly trying to push him away, but lacking the strength.

 

Neither one knew when they fell asleep, one moment they were basking in the afterglow, trying to catch their breaths, and then next, complete nothingness. That night they experienced the best sleep either one had had since their last night together. Absolute restfulness fell over them for the first time in months, wrapped in each others arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reunited and it feels so good! This was a fun chapter to write because of their banter. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Thanks again to the insanely talented [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife)
> 
> Wanna come say hi? Hit me up on twitter, [Rogue_Companion](https://twitter.com/Rogue_Companion) or on tumblr, [RogueCompanion1812](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/roguecompanion1812).
> 
> Check out the playlist for this fic, [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qr7pHP08xXmClxt97S3fz).


	5. The Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Pressure can burst a pipe, or pressure can make a diamond." 
> 
> Ben is no diamond...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my Beta, the amazing [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife)
> 
> There I go, lying again. I even had this chapter all set up and ready to post. Yesterday was just too busy. So, sorry about that!
> 
> I will warn you all, from here, things get a little more emotional.

[](http://i.imgur.com/Xtgouxw)

The feeling of a warm body wrapped around him woke him the following morning. He’d just had the most restful sleep he’d experienced since leaving home. The lingering exhaustion had disappeared, and in its place was contented energy. 

 

He pulled Rey closer to him, kissing her head as she nuzzled deeper into his chest. “Morning, love.” Her bright eyes and brilliant smile turned to face him, taking his breath away.

 

“Good Morning,” he returned as he leaned down to pull her into a sweet kiss. As he was about to deepen the kiss, a thought occurred to him and he pulled back. “Oh shit, What time is it?” He jerked from her arms, frantically looking around the room. 

 

Leaning over the side of the bed, she reached for her discarded pants and pulled her cellphone out. “It’s 8:30, love.”

 

“FUCK!” His shout startled her, and she fell from the precarious position she had leaning over the side of the bed. She looked on from her place sprawled on the floor as he furiously threw himself from the bed and over her, searching the room. 

 

“Ben, what is wrong?” Her voice reflected concern and confusion.

 

“I’m fucking late!” he shouted as he roughly pulled on his discarded boxers from the night before. “Where the fuck is my phone?”

 

Her eyes tracked him as he began agitatedly throwing things about the room in his search. “One of your meetings?” 

 

“YES REY! One of my very important meetings. The whole reason I’m stuck here instead of going home and actually seeing my family, God Damn it!” His tone was starting to anger her, but she wanted to be supportive of him.

 

“Babe, I’m sure it’s going to be ok,” she said consolingly. “Let’s just find your phone, and you can call and explain that you’re running late. It’s a holiday. I’m sure whomever it is will understand.”

 

“UNDERSTAND? Rey, this is the real world. That’s not how things work!” He stopped looking for his phone to give her his full attention. “I know you don’t know what going to a real college is like, but it’s a little bit tougher than what you’re doing.”

 

“Excuse me?” She began to rise to her feet, wishing with everything in her that she was clothed. She didn’t like how being naked made her feel so vulnerable right now. The desire to feel that physical armor to bolster her confidence swirled through her brain. 

 

Ben seemed to realize what he said as his face drained of color a bit, but the anger still lingered. “That’s not what I meant. You know what I meant.”

 

“No, I really don’t.” She stomped over to where her shirt had landed the previous evening and yanked it over her head.

 

“I’m just under a lot of pressure, you can’t even imagine how hard this is. I need to do everything right so that my future will be secure.” He continued getting dressed, not seeming to notice her seething stare in his direction.

 

“I can’t imagine how hard this is for you?” She had to push the words out from her gritted teeth. “I can’t understand the importance of a solid future? Me? The fucking girl who was abandoned and abused and has had to fight for every God Damn thing I have in this life? I can’t imagine?”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying!” His voice seemed to get louder as hers got softer.

 

“Then what are you saying, Benjamin?”

 

“This is important. I needed to make a good impression. I needed to meet these people. My education needs to be my priority.”

 

“No one is contesting that school should be your priority, Ben. But you are a freaking Freshman. If you’re caving under the pressure now, how in the hell do you intend to make it through law school?!” She stood in front of him fully dressed now, hands on her hips.

 

“I’m not caving!” he defended, “I’m just too fucking distracted to focus on what’s most important.”

 

“Oh, and what is most important?” her voice sounded deadly calm, a sure sign that he should be careful with his next response.

 

A warning that he chose not to heed.

 

“The only thing that matters is what I’m doing here. I need to succeed so I don’t wind up like my idiot father and mother.” He was distractedly pulling on his shoes.

 

“What’s wrong with your parents?” Anger shook her lips as she tried to contain her rage. His parents hadn’t always been the best, but they tried, and he wouldn’t be here without them. A luxury she’d never have.

 

“He’s an underachiever who will never do anything but own a damn garage. And she settled for that.” Well, that was a stupid thing to say.

 

“And are you settling for me?” Her voice cracked as she said it.

 

“What? Of course not! This has nothing to do with you!” He was pulling on his jacket. “I have to go.”

 

“Yeah. You should go, and so should I. Clearly, this was a mistake. Goodbye, Ben.” With that she stormed past him, picking up her duffle bag that had been dropped at the front door when she arrived the night before. Slamming the front door behind her she stomped her way out of his building and into the courtyard. The fresh air hit her, immediately cooling her aching head. The broiling emotions were kicking up a bout of nausea that had her leaning next to the building and emptying the contents of her stomach. Once everything was purged from her stomach, she straightened back up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

 

Pulling out her phone, she logged into the Uber app and scheduled a ride back to the airport. This whole trip had been a terrible idea. Marching down to the main street where she’d catch her ride, she let her tears begin to fall. She was so fucking sick of crying! This time, however, she was unsure if they were out of heartache, or rage. She’d always been a frustrated crier.

 

At the airport, she pushed aside her thoughts of her and Ben’s argument and made her way to the counter. After a brief explanation of an emergency she needed to get home to, they were able to get her on a flight in a few short hours, much to her relief. The sooner she got out of this shitty city, the better.

 

She picked up a bagel on the way to her gate and picked at it as she sat in the uncomfortable fake leather seat, waiting for her departure. She turned off her phone, wanting to conserve the battery, and wanting to definitely avoid her dipshit boyfriend for the time being.

 

She landed back in Chandrila at about 5:30 PM, with plenty of time to join in any number of Thanksgiving feasts she’d been invited to before this impromptu trip, but she really didn’t want any company tonight. She’d return to work tomorrow, and life would go on.

 

Her Uber driver from the airport to her shitty little apartment was a sweet girl named Rose. She’d taken one look at Rey’s red puffy eyes and just known. “Oh Honey, do we need some sad, sappy heartbreak music? Or some slash his tires, fuck him up music? Or option 3, fuck boys, girl power?” This line of questioning had Rey genuinely laughing for the first time in longer than she wished to recall as she lowered herself into the front seat of the surprisingly roomy sedan.

 

“Definitely some fuck boys, girl power,” she said, flashing the other woman a smile.

 

Nodding succinctly, Rose reached for her phone, queuing up a playlist full of Beyonce, Spice Girls, and Taylor Swift. Before long, both of them were bopping in the front seat and singing along. The 45 minute ride flew by, and left Rey feeling revived and so much better than before. 

 

“Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I needed that,” Rey looked at her new friend with eyes shining with affection. “This may be super freaking weird, but can I hug you?”

 

Rose laughed, “Oh honey, of course you can!” She reached over and wrapped her arms around Rey’s shoulders, Rey returning the gesture. Pulling away, Rose reached into the back seat and pulled up her bag. Reaching inside, she pulled out a piece of paper and pen, jotting down her number in a firm script. “Here’s my number, you call or text me if you need anything. Even if it’s just to talk. Don’t feel obligated, but I’m here if you need me. I hope that with whatever happened that everything works out.”

 

“Thank you so much, Rose. Have a safe night.” With that, Rey exited the car and made her way to her apartment.

 

~~~

 

A few hours later Rey was climbing into bed when her phone rang, Ben’s name and photo flashing across the screen. Sighing, she picked it up.

 

“Yes?” Her lingering annoyance at him rang clearly in her voice.

 

On the other side of the line, he cleared his throat. “Um, hi.”

 

Rolling her eyes, she dropped her head back, banging it against the headboard. “Did you need something, Benjamin?”

 

“I think I owe you an apology,” his voice sounded timid.

 

“You think? How about calling me back when you know for sure?” She clearly wasn’t having any of his shit.

 

“Wait, Rey!” He sounded frantic, as if he thought she’d actually hang up on him.  _ Well, good. _ “I know I owe you an apology.”

 

“Go on.”

 

“I’m sorry I took my frustration out on you this morning. It was my fault I didn’t set an alarm. Your appearance was unexpected, and I was very distracted last night, obviously. So I forgot. That’s not on you.”

 

While all of this was correct, it didn’t really feel like it covered everything. “Is that all?”

 

“Um, yes?” He was absolutely unsure if that was the right answer, so he attempted to change the topic quickly. “Did you make your flight on time?”

 

Huffing at him, she couldn’t seem to stop herself from being petty. “I would say, three days early is plenty of time to make sure I didn’t miss my flight.”

 

“Th-three days?” He audibly gulped. “You weren’t supposed to leave until Sunday?”

 

“Yeah. Your parents wanted to make us both feel better about this separation by giving us a long weekend together. Awfully nice for a couple of idiots.”

 

“Why? Why did you leave then?” He sounded upset.  _ Again, good. _

 

“I didn’t exactly feel welcome after being attacked.”

 

“Shit Rey! I had no idea. I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

 

“I really needed to talk to you, too. Were you at least able to salvage your meeting?”

 

“Eh, it went alright, the guy wasn’t too upset. I got ripped into by my advisor afterwards, though.” He tried to sound flippant, but she could hear that this clearly upset him.

 

“That’s pretty messed up,” this guy sounded like a real dick.

 

“I get it. He’s trying to help me be my best self.” Ben defended the older man’s actions.

 

“I think you’re already your best self, Ben.” Rey tried to console him.

 

“Clearly, I’m not.” He said self deprecatingly. “And Mr. Snoke made that quite clear. He doesn’t seem to think I’m taking all of this seriously enough. He wants me to apply myself more.”

 

“Not serious enough?!” She cried incredulously, “It’s your Freshman year, Ben. You’re putting more effort into all of this than any other student there! There’s something seriously wrong with this man.”

 

“Don’t say that! He’s working really hard to help me.” She could hear the edge of annoyance creep into his voice.

 

“Ben, have you even bothered to consider that this man is a little too involved in your education? I really don’t think this level of attention is normal. Do you know how many students an advisor has to keep track of? Why is he focusing all of this attention on you?” This situation really made her uncomfortable.

 

“He sees something in me. Greatness. He sees what I can become and wants to nurture that.” Defensiveness rang through in Ben’s voice as he tried to defend Snoke.

 

“Ben, I’m telling you, there is something wrong here. You should report him. The man is borderline abusive!” She pleaded for him to see reason.

 

“He is not! He’s just passionate about making sure I meet my potential!. For once someone cares enough to show me where I belong.”

 

“What are you talking about? For once? You have a whole fucking support system out here who have helped you your entire life,” Throwing herself out of bed, she began to pace.

 

“Don’t start that again, Rey. I get it, your life’s so hard. But stop holding that over my head.”

 

“WOW! That wasn’t even what I was saying. But fuck you, Ben Solo.” With that, she hung up on him and threw her phone across the room in anger, before rushing over to pick it up. That wasn’t like her. She couldn’t afford to replace something as expensive as a phone, she doesn’t know what had come over her.

 

Clutching the thankfully undamaged phone to her chest, she resumed her pacing, jumping practically out of her skin when her text tone rang from between her tightly clenched fingers. Glancing down she noticed an essay from Ben. Reading through his message, she threw herself to her bed, feeling nothing. Completely numb, she remained unmoving for the rest of the night. She didn’t sleep, just stared at the ceiling, a certain set of words repeating through her mind.

  
_I think Mr. Snoke is right, I should remove the distractions from my life. I can’t be with you anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How y'all doing? Everyone ok? Just remember that HEA is coming...


	6. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey deals with the aftermath of her trip to Boston.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've officially boarded the pain train here folks, I'd like to say everything will be cleared up soon, but I lie to you enough about updates. I do, however, like to break up the angst with funny quips here and there though, so hopefully that's something to look forward to.

[](https://imgur.com/Le86yt6)

An alarm on her phone roused her from her catatonic state the next morning. She’d forgotten that she’d planned to go to work today. Raising from the bed, she noticed a wetness begin to roll down her face. Was she crying? She didn’t think she was crying. Looking down at the mattress she’d just left told her otherwise, though, as she took in the damp spot on the covers where her head had been.

 

Making her way to the bathroom, she flipped on the shower, turning it all the way to hot, before turning to look at herself in the mirror. 

 

“Good lord, I’m a goblin!” she said to herself, poking at the dark bags under her eyes. Turning away from the mirror with a disdain filled look, she stripped and stepped into the steaming shower. She enjoyed the pelting heat for a moment before realizing it probably wasn’t healthy to scald herself like this, and she turned the knob up to lower the temperature. She quickly washed herself and exited the shower, getting ready for work in record time.

 

She arrived before anyone else, as she’d hoped, to avoid any questions. Using her key, she let herself in and looked through the appointment invoices to find a good challenge, something to keep her occupied, and something that would not allow a lot of wandering thoughts. By the time Han and Chewie walked in together, she was already elbow deep in a car’s engine. 

 

A throat clearing got her attention, turning from her task to the individual from which the noise had originated. Han stood before her, arms crossed, his face looking between confused and annoyed. 

 

“You’re supposed to be in Boston until next week. What the hell are you doing here, kid?”

 

Sighing, she pulled herself from her bent over position and turned to face him. His eyes widened as he took in her still puffy eyes. 

 

“There was an issue. I came home early.” Her tone indicated she had nothing more to say on the matter. 

 

“What the hell kind of issue could you possibly have had?” He pushed. 

 

“It’s a long story that I’d really rather not discuss here.” Her arms crossed in front of her, attitude brooking no argument. 

 

Raising his hands in defense, he caved. “Fair enough. But you will be coming to the house after work today for dinner so that you can explain this.” After almost 20 years being married to a strong woman, he knew when to keep pushing and when to give in. 

 

“Fine.” She turned and climbed back under the hood of the car she’d been fixing, conversation blatantly over. 

 

Han glanced at Chewie, the two sharing an uncertain look before shrugging and beginning their own business for the day. 

 

~~~

 

She spent the whole ride over to Han and Leia’s breathing deeply and trying to calm her nerves. She really didn’t know how this was going to go, and to be perfectly honest, she was scared. These people were the closest thing to a family she had ever had. They’d told her plenty of times that she’d be family no matter what, but if she wasn’t with Ben, would they really stick to that?

 

She approached the front door with trepidation. Taking in a lungful of the crisp autumn air, Rey drew on her courage and knocked. 

 

The door opened, and she was immediately pulled into a tight Leia hug. “Come in, dear. It’s so chilly out there.”

 

She was accosted with heat, and the enticing scent of a full Thanksgiving dinner. Apparently, they’d be eating leftovers. 

 

But when she turned the corner to the dining room, she saw a full spread of a fresh meal. Noticing the look of confusion on her face, Leia squeezed her shoulders. “We weren’t going to have Thanksgiving without you. The plan was to celebrate when you returned next week.” 

 

Rey barely contained the sob that worked its way up her throat, her hand reaching up to clamp down tightly over her mouth as the tears began to flow once more. 

 

Reacting quickly, Leia pulled the girl back into her arms and rubbed her back soothingly. This is how Han found them a few moments later as he entered the room with the last of the food. 

 

“What’d you do to her?” He asked, defensive of Rey’s emotional state. 

 

“Nothing,” the look Leia sent him was scathing. “She looked at the table and started crying, maybe it was your lumpy mashed potatoes. I told you to use the ricer before the mixer.”

 

That caused Rey’s shoulders to shake with a giggle. Pulling away, she wiped her face. “It was definitely the potatoes. What a travesty!” She spoke through the lump in her throat, giving them a smile. 

 

“Well, let’s sit down and eat, you don’t have to eat any of my potatoes if you don’t want them, I’ll eat them all myself,” Han said with a sniff of indignance. 

 

They all laughed at that and tucked into their meal. 

 

Conversation flowed easily throughout dinner, and neither parent brought up Ben, or what had happened. It was nice to be able to forget about things for a little bit, to not think about all of the decisions she’d have to make now. Once everyone was clearly finished and the leftover food was packed away, Leia gently took her elbow and led her into the front sitting room. “I know you really would rather not, but I think you need to tell us what happened.”

 

She was right, Rey really didn’t want to talk about it, but she really needed to, and the best advice she’d get here would probably be from the man’s own parents. Cringing, she sat down next to Leia on the loveseat, while Han sat in one of the reading chairs across from them. Slowly, she told her story, leaving out some of the more sordid details of her and Ben’s meeting. Her throat choked up at more than a few parts, and by the end, Han was up pacing back and forth in front of them while Leia rubbed her back. 

 

“I’ve always know that boy was a bit of an idiot, but until now, I’ve never thought he was stupid.” Han said, looking at his wife’s face. 

 

“He’s been pulling away for awhile now. It doesn’t feel right. And the way he keeps defending that advisor? It’s just not right. I honestly have half a mind to call the school and see if there’s something that can be done.” Leia was quickly steamrolling into Mama Bear mode.

 

“There’s something else,” Rey’s timid voice called out, drawing both parent’s attention back to her. Ringing her hands together, she stared hard at the floor in front of her, voice quivering as she finally admitted, “I’m pregnant.”

 

All movement and sound in the room ceased. A look was shared over her head between Ben’s parents. 

 

“We know.” Hans voice was firm and emotionless.

 

“What?!” Rey’s head shot up and whipped back and forth between the two. “How?”

 

“Oh honey,” Leia smiled at her condescendingly, “I’ve been pregnant before, and Han was there for it. We know the signs. And you sealed my suspicions once and for all when you mentioned being sick on the way to the airport.”

 

“Oh,” Color rose to Rey’s cheeks, and she was even more ashamed now that she thought she was being discreet, when she hadn’t actually been at all.

 

Their silence began to get to her, and she found herself rushing out an explanation. “I don’t even know how it happened! I mean, I know how it happened, I took health class. But, like, we’ve always been so careful. And I just, don’t know, how THIS happened.”

 

Leia looked sympathetic, “Yeah, I know that feeling. I’m not sure if you know this, but Ben was a bit of a surprise as well. Not that we didn’t want him, we just weren’t exactly trying for that in our lives at that point. I was building my career, and Han was keeping us afloat. I think that’s why Ben’s had the issues he has had with us. He felt neglected.”

 

“I never want my child to feel that.” Rey paused, realizing how accusing that sounded. “Not that you two were bad parents or anything. I get why things happened the way they did, and I think Ben understands now, too. But having been abandoned, I never want, not even for one second, for my child to feel unloved.”

 

“So, you’re planning on keeping it?” Han gulped as both women’s eyes snapped to him.

 

“Of course I am!” Rey’s voice rang out angrily as Leia looked at Han with fury.

 

“Sorry,” His hands raised in surrender, “I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I just wanted to know what your plan was. I wanted you to know you had options, and that we’d support you no matter what.”

 

Both women softened.

 

“Right, sorry. Knee jerk reaction. I just, the idea of leaving my child in any sense, never really crossed my mind. Thank you both, so much, for your support.” 

 

“What did Ben say, when you told him? Was that part of why you fought?” Leia went back to rubbing Rey’s back, as if she could alleviate the sting of bringing up Ben again by doing so.

 

Standing up and pacing herself, Rey admitted to them, “Actually, well, I never really got the opportunity to tell him.”

 

“Oh.” Identical sighs broke out from either side of her as Han heavily lowered himself into his chair. 

 

“I’m not going to.”

 

“What?” Leia exclaimed, shocked, while Han simultaneously shouted, “You have to!”

 

“After our call last night, I spent a lot of time thinking. All night, in fact. His whole point was that he needs to prioritize his education, which I absolutely agree with, even if I don’t agree with his method - or rather, Snoke’s method. I couldn’t live with myself if he dropped everything to do the noble thing and take care of us. I love him, I don’t want him to be with me because he thinks he has to. I don’t want him to wake up one day, years down the line, full of regret and anger that we ruined his life. Constantly wondering what could have been if he wasn’t stuck with a kid. I can keep doing what I do with a kid. He can’t. It’s better that he doesn’t know.” She hadn’t noticed the tears falling down her face as she said this, but Han and Leia both did. 

 

Han stood, stepping in front of her and wiping the tears from her face with his thumbs, shocking her with both the gesture, and the realization that she’d been crying.

 

“You’re a strong kid, but you don’t have to do everything alone. He’s responsible for this, too. He should have a say in this.”

 

“I know, you’re right. But I just don’t think it’s a good choice right now.” She looked into his eyes, begging him to understand. “I would never keep his child from him. But what he’s doing is very important. And you know Ben, you know what he would do if he knew. Please, I’m begging you, both of you,” Here she turned her pleading gaze to Leia, “don’t tell him.”

 

“I don’t like this, Rey. It doesn’t feel right.” Leia joined her husband in front of Rey. “He’s an adult, he deserves to make his own decisions. And he has a responsibility, to you, and this child. I don’t like the idea of keeping this from him.”

 

“If he finds out, I won’t lie to him. But I don’t see how telling him this now could benefit anyone. He’s so close to finals. I just really think this is something I should tell him in person.” Rey tried to concede, without really agreeing. “How about I promise to tell him when he comes home for Christmas?”

 

Han and Leia looked at each other for a long moment, a silent discussion being shared between them. “Fine, when Ben comes home for Christmas, you’ll tell him,” Han said, shaking his head at her, before ruffling her hair and walking away mumbling about stupid kids.

 

Leia stared after him, shaking her own head before turning and pulling Rey back to the sofa. “Well, I’m guessing that you’ve yet to see a doctor about this whole thing, is that correct?” At Rey’s nod she continued. “Ok, well I’ll call Dr. Kalonia first thing tomorrow morning and get you an appointment. Not much we can do until we confirm that everything looks good.” From there, Leia began recounting the many stories of her own pregnancy with Ben for the next several hours.

 

By the time Rey finally left, she felt much better, and she at least had some kind of plan for what to do with Ben. She still didn’t really want to tell him about the baby, because she knew exactly what he’d do - but maybe she could convince him he could do both. They didn’t have to be together to be able to co-parent, so if he really didn’t want her, than at least the baby would know it was loved. And she was already fully prepared to take care of it on her own, so his leaving for school wouldn’t be much of a burden to her, and he could see the baby on his breaks from school. She still loved the man, regardless of what happened, and would welcome him in their lives, but she wouldn’t force him. Not with any of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I just writing this fic as an excuse to talk to the amazing [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife) who is an incredible beta and all around awesome person? Maybe... Check out her works by clicking on her name!
> 
> I'm on Twitter [Rogue_Companion](https://twitter.com/Rogue_Companion) and Tumblr [roguecompanion1812](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/roguecompanion1812). Feel free to hit me up on either platform, I'm all about making new friends!
> 
> And if you haven't yet, check out the playlist for this fic! [Youngblood Fic Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qr7pHP08xXmClxt97S3fz)


	7. The Manipulation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thing about manipulation is, you rarely recognize when it's happening to you. Ben deals with the fall out of his conversation with Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to take a moment to thank you all so very much! The response to this story is incredible, and I cannot tell you the joy all of your comments brings to me. You are all amazing.
> 
> This chapter gets into some of the more insidious elements of this story, and I'm not really sure how far i'm going to be taking this just yet. I spent many of my early adult years living in an abusive situation that looking back feels a lot like what Snoke put Ben Solo through, so that element of his story has always felt like something I've connected with. I'm not sure this story has much room to really get into the details of psychological trauma and growing above the abuse, but I usually just let the story flow out of me however it decides to, so we'll see. 
> 
> I will keep you all apprized of any potentially triggering content if this part of the plot does get deeper. But as a whole we are working towards that HAE, cause Damn it, we all deserve it.

[ ](https://imgur.com/ykG7qTh)

  


Ben was miserable. He couldn’t believe what he’d said to Rey. He was just so damn mad! Why couldn’t she see how much Snoke was trying to help him? Why couldn’t she see that he was doing all of this for her?

  


He spent the next day returning his dorm room to rights. The last thing he needed was for his roommate to return and see what he’d done to the place, and mentioning having sex on his bed probably wouldn’t go over too well either, so he even made a special trip to wash the guys bedding, as well.

  


Despite keeping busy, he still felt like shit. He never wanted for things to go this way. He took out his phone frequently to see if Rey ever responded, but nothing. He thought several times about calling or texting her again to apologize and try to fix things, but each time he did, something stopped him. A voice in his head, that suspiciously sounded like Snoke, preaching to him about distractions.

  


On the one hand, by staying single, he’d have nothing to distract him from his schoolwork. He’d power through college and come out on the top of his game. Assuming this severe heartache would fade with time, and not turn into another form of a distraction. On the other hand, there was no guarantee that Rey would be there waiting for him at the end of all of this. What was even the point, if after all of this struggle, she wasn’t there with him to enjoy the success at the end? She’d always been his number one cheerleader, the one person who understood him better than anyone else. He couldn’t see ever loving anyone the way he loves Rey.

  


Throwing himself on the bed, he pulled his phone out once more. There was still no word from Rey. Honestly, what did he expect her to say? He told her they were done, that he couldn’t be with her. Maybe he just expected her to fight him on the issue, but what was she supposed to say? She was likely still mad about what he said to her anyways - it had been a low blow, and he knew she hadn’t been alluding to her lack of a family. He knew she’d simply been pointing out that, despite how he always seemed to feel, he wasn’t alone. Even if no one else was there, she was. Truly, she was the only one that mattered to him, anyways. 

  


He really couldn’t understand why he’d done any of that. Stress, sleep deprivation, depression, or any combination thereof. As he lay, staring blankly at his last sent text message to her, the ellipses indicating someone was writing a text popped up. He raised himself up to a seated position quickly, anxiously awaiting her words.

  


_ If that is what you think is best. I will only ever support you. I will always love you, Ben Solo. But you do what you must. _

  


Well, if that wasn’t a fucking blow, he didn’t know what was. It was somehow exactly what he wanted to hear, and not at all.

  


Shutting off his phone, he rolled over and cried himself to sleep.

  


~~~

  


He entered his appointment with Snoke the next morning, eyes red, but otherwise with no other sign of distress. Showing such weakness in front of the older man would only lead to another lecture he didn’t want to hear right now.

  


The old man sat behind his desk, fingers steepled and resting against his chin. “Ah, young Solo. How nice of you to join me on time.” The jab was intentional and had Ben grinding his teeth.

  


“Yes, sir.” Ben sat down on the uncomfortable chair in front of the man’s desk.

  


“Have you given any thought as to what we discussed the other afternoon?” Snoke asked him.

  


“I did, sir.”

  


“And what have you concluded, young man?”

  


“I broke up with my girlfriend. You were right, she was a distraction,” Ben said, but the words tasted sour in his mouth. He hated this man before him, so why did he feel so indebted to him?

  


“Oh, I’m so glad to hear this, Solo!” Snoke placed his hands down on his desk, his hideous face lighting up in an ugly imitation of a smile. “I’m happy to see how serious you are taking your education. Not everyone has the same kind of dedication that you do. It’s such a refreshing experience.”

  


“Of course, sir” He truly didn’t know what he was supposed to say.

  


“Well, now that that little unpleasantness is out of the way, let’s discuss where we go from here.”

  


The next hour was spent plotting out the rest of this semester, and into the next. Somehow, the old man had convinced him to stay on campus over the winter break as well - after promising to get him all of the appropriate permissions, as it was near unheard of for a freshman to be allowed to remain on campus during a school break like that.

  


He really didn’t want to stay, but at the same time, he wasn’t so sure he wanted to go home and run the risk of seeing Rey. He still didn’t know what to say to her. What would he do if he had to face her without a clear plan of how he’d proceed? No, this was for the best. With the holiday just a few short weeks away, there was no way he’d be able to face her without sticking his foot in things even more than he already had.

  


“Again, I am so happy you’ve chosen the correct path, my boy.” That insidious smile was back on Snoke’s face.

  


“Um, yeah. Well, if that’s all, I better get back to studying. Finals are coming up quickly, and I should get to studying.” Ben began to to rise.

  


“That is exactly what I like to hear. Go, study, race to achieve your fullest potential.”

  


Ben exited the office, feeling relief at having finished that meeting. But it wasn’t the great unburdening of a huge weight that’d rested on his shoulders. No, that weight just lowered and settled heavily in his stomach instead. 

  


The next few months would be difficult indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the best beta ever, [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife). Who not only helps me make this story better, but takes time to promote it and comment too. She's an absolute doll!
> 
> You can find me on Twitter, [Rogue_Companion](https://twitter.com/Rogue_Companion), or Tumblr, [Roguecompanion1812](https://roguecompanion1812.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Check out the playlist for this fic, [Youngblood Fic Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qr7pHP08xXmClxt97S3fz), I'm going to be looking at adding some more songs in the next few days, so if you have any suggestions, hit me up!
> 
> Thanks for reading folks!


	8. The Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets have a way of eating away at you, but is it really a secret or a lie, if you intended to tell it eventually?

[ ](https://imgur.com/H5nczYA)

 

Leia was extremely angry when she hung up the phone with her son. This complicated things greatly. Grabbing her purse and keys, she exited the house, needing to talk to Han.

 

Pulling up to the garage, she didn’t even bother saying hi to the young kid maintaining the front desk this morning, instead she stuck her head into the shop and called for her husband’s attention, motioning for him to meet her in his office as soon as he looked her way.

 

Han wiped his greasy hands on a rag, yelling some orders at one of the other techs, before heading off to meet with his wife. Entering his office, he caught her leaning back in his chair, legs resting on the desk in front of her - like she owned the place - which, technically, she did. Closing the door behind himself to provide the two of them some privacy, he threw her a rakish look.

 

“What brings you here? Is this a social call?” He asked as he attempted to sexily saunter up to her. 

 

“Absolutely not.” Leia stated, straightening herself up and beginning to pace. “Your son just called me.”

 

“Uh oh,” he fell heavily into the chair in front of his desk. “What now?”

 

“He’s decided to stay at school during the winter holidays. I didn’t even know that this was something that could be done. But apparently,”  Leia’s voice got a little mocking as she spoke, “Mr. Snoke said he’d work out all of the necessary approvals, and really thinks it’s a good idea.”

 

Han looked at his wife as if she’d grown another head.

 

“I mean, that boy is so far up that old man’s ass, if it weren’t for our very real grandchild that Rey is carrying, I’d wonder if he were gay!”

 

“PRINCESS!”

 

She stopped pacing and looked at her husband, his jaw hanging open, shock in his eyes. “Was that too far?” She asked, reaching up to cover her mouth.

 

“I don’t know about too far, but definitely unexpected from you.” He stood up and walked over to stand in front of her. “What part of this has you the most upset?”

 

“I just want my son back. And I was actually hoping he’d come home, and him and Rey would talk and figure everything out.” She moved to rest her head against his shoulder. “I just want my family back together.”

 

His arms fell around her, and he pulled her closer to him. “We’ll figure something out.”

 

“What are we going to do about Rey? Since he’s not coming home now, should we just tell him? Or do we need to just let these two work it out on their own?” She honestly sounded miserable.

 

“I know this isn’t ideal, and I’m still not convinced this not telling him thing is a good idea, but, I can understand why she’d want to tell him in person. I think we’re going to have to work together on this one, and, I don’t know, get them back together?”

 

“Are you suggesting we Parent Trap our own son?” She pulled back and looked at him incredulously.

 

“I mean, no. But, well, do you have any better suggestions?” He quickly went from sheepish to defensive. 

 

Laughing, she pulled his face to hers for a forceful kiss. “No, I don’t. But I do live for getting a rise out of you like that.” 

 

“Yeah, well, at least one of us is happy.” He grumbled, kissing her once more before moving to leave the office. “If you’re not here for a conjugal visit, then I better get back to work. We’ll discuss this plan more when I get home tonight.” And with that, he left her laughing at his departure. They’d work this out together.

 

~~~

 

Before she had any knowledge of this whole baby situation, Rey had signed up for a couple of classes at the community college. After the discovery, it was well past the drop date and she decided to just finish the semester out. She’d already paid after all, no sense letting it go to waste. As such, she spent the weeks that followed her conversation with Han and Leia attending doctors appointments, studying, working, and avoiding most of her friends. She didn’t want to risk any of her and Ben’s mutual friends finding out about the baby and telling him before she got a chance to talk to him.

 

When the crippling loneliness became too much, she pulled out the paper with Rose’s phone number and reached out to her. They met up for coffee one cold afternoon in December and quickly hit it off, getting together regularly after that. They had quite a bit in common, especially with them both being orphans. It was nice to finally have someone to talk with about all of what was happening in her life, and not fear judgement. 

 

So when Rey received word from Leia the week before Christmas that Ben wouldn’t be coming home for the holiday, it was Rose whom she called, crying angrily to rant.

 

“I can’t believe he’s not coming home! I mean, if he doesn’t want to see me, that’s fine. But to cut off his parents like that?! I never imagined he could be this selfish.” Rey spoke into the phone as she paced the length of her apartment.

 

“Oh, Babe. Men are dicks. I’m sure he’s just too chicken shit to face you after what he did. So, he’d rather hide away up at school than actually deal with his issues.” Rose’s sympathetic voice rang through the phone.

 

“I mean, I didn’t even actually want to tell him about the baby - I was just planning on doing so for his parents sake - so I’m pretty relieved about that, but still. It’s just so damn frustrating!” She threw herself down onto the ratty brown couch that took up her living room.

 

“Why don’t I go pick us up some mac and cheese from Noodles, and meet you over at your place for a movie night? That should help you get your mind off of all this, right?” Rose was such a sweet soul.

 

“Honestly, you are an angel, and I would absolutely love that.” Rey blinked rapidly to dash away the tears trying to form.

 

“Ok, let me just tell my sister, and I’ll be right over.” She hung up quickly, leaving Rey breathing deeply on her couch.

 

Rose was probably the best thing to come out of this whole ordeal. Rey missed her friends, especially her best friend Finn, but his boyfriend, Poe, was one of Ben’s best friends, and she just couldn’t risk them finding anything out. Finn would know something was wrong with just one glance at her, and there’s no way Finn wouldn’t say something to his boyfriend, who may be one of the biggest gossips she’s ever met.

 

Sighing, she got up and decided to change into some comfy PJs in preparation of Rose’s arrival. 

 

After the break up, she’d decided that it was better if Ben didn’t know, and she was still pretty sure that was the best choice. She was more upset about how she’d been psyching herself up to prepare to speak with him, having arguments with herself while she showered or drove, getting angry at imaginary Ben in each of their “discussions”. It’d been so emotionally taxing. Relief slowly began to sink in, and she decided that maybe this was a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my amazing Beta, [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife)!
> 
> Thanks for reading folks!


	9. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes a promise to his father and takes some time to think about what he's lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in updates folks! My dad came into town and spending time with him delayed my writing schedule a bit. I have several chapters ready to go now though, so we should be back on track. Thanks so much for your patience!
> 
> And thank you so much to my amazing beta [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife) for taking on so many chapters at once. I can never seem to just write a single chapter and give it to her. So, bless you!

[ ](https://imgur.com/lgdYl9F)

 

Ben was avoiding his parents calls like the plague. After he spoke with his mother, telling her he wouldn’t be coming home for Christmas, both of his parents began calling him near constantly. It was finals week, though, and he really didn’t want to deal with the fallout from them. He was sure that they’d heard about the break up by now, and really didn’t want to receive any kind of lecture about it. He knew that they meant well, but he just couldn’t handle it right now.

 

After his last final of the semester, he finally decided to call his father back, thinking that would be the better person to deal with in his exhausted state. The phone rang a couple of times before his old man picked up.

 

“We were about to call the cops to do a welfare check on you, boy,” His father’s gruff voice huffed out the moment he picked up.

 

“Yeah, sorry about that, Dad. Finals week has been kicking my ass.” He couldn’t help but feel guilty about worrying them.

 

“Your mother tells me that you’ve decided to stay at school for the holidays.” He could hear the disapproval in his father’s voice.

 

“With everything that’s going on lately, and wanting to finish up school, it really seems like the best option,” Ben tried to rationally explain his reasoning.

 

“What could possibly be so bad that it would make you miss out on Christmas with your family?” Did they really not know about the break up? Why would Rey not say anything? He was extremely confused.

 

“Um, you know, just, well, everything. I’ve got a lot going on,” the last part of his sentence had his voice going up at the end, making it sound more like a question.

 

“Do you have any idea how devastated your mother is?” Wow, his old man was really laying it on thick. “This will be our first Christmas without you in 19 years! We thought we had a few more years until that happened.”

 

“I didn’t really think about it like that. I’m sorry, Dad.” He tried to sound sincere, but really couldn’t muster much emotion in his voice. Of course he missed his family, and sure the holidays would be lonely, he’d basically be alone on campus for three weeks. But he’d already made his decision, and there was no going back now. 

 

“Well, can you at least promise you’ll come back for Spring break?” His father pleaded.

 

“Yeah, Dad, I promise I’ll come home in March and spend some time with you guys.” The guilt was really starting to sink in now. He was making his parents suffer - just because he didn’t have the balls to face Rey and apologize for his poor behaviour.

 

“Ok, I appreciate you making that concession. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but it means the world to your mother and I.” Han’s voice sounded relieved as he said this, which just made Ben feel more like crap. 

 

“Absolutely, I’ll order plane tickets as soon as I hang up with you, and send the itinerary over to you. You can give it to mom for Christmas or something,” Ben said jokingly, though his voice lacked any semblance of mirth.

 

“Great idea, Kid. I may just do that. Thanks for calling and checking in.” 

 

“Sure thing, Dad. Have a good one. I’ll talk to you soon.” 

 

“I love you, son.” Ben’s cheeks reddened at his father’s admission, glancing around to make sure no one around him had caught it.

 

“Uh, yeah, you too, Dad.” 

 

“Me too, what?” His father pushed.

 

“Same thing you said.” Ben tried to get out of saying the words.

 

“Tell me you love me son, or your mother and I are flying out there to spend Christmas break in your dorm with you.” The smirk in Han’s voice was audible.

 

“Fine,” Ben grit his teeth, “I love you, Dad.” The words were ground out angrily as Ben continued to glance around, hoping no one had heard him as he moved quickly away from the quad.

 

“That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

 

“Whatever. Bye.” Ben abruptly hung up on his father, certain he could hear the man chuckling as he pulled the phone away from his ear and hit the end button.

 

He distractedly pushed his phone into his pocket, while continuing on to his intended destination - his dorm. 

 

He just didn’t understand. On the one hand, his dad didn’t mention Rey at all, so maybe he knew and was just doing his son a kindness by not bringing it up. On the other, his father loved Rey almost as much as he loved Ben himself. There’s no way the man would just let it go and not ask Ben what the hell he was thinking. 

Ben went back and forth in his head like this, until he suddenly looked up and realized he was in front of his front door. Shaking himself to attention, he turned the knob and walked into the dorm. 

 

The whole place was fairly trashed from the preparation for finals, as well as the clutter of 4 people trying to pack up their belongings and go home. Even though he was staying on campus, Ben still had to vacate the dorms. For the few weeks between semesters he’d be placed in a small housing unit for the students and faculty that would remain behind like him.

 

He was exhausted, and his to do list seemed unending even with finals finally out of the way. First things first; however, he needed to get online and purchase those tickets for March like he’d promised his father. He couldn’t bear to upset his parents anymore than he already had. With this decided, he waded his way through the empty pizza boxes, dirty laundry, and mountains of books that stood between the door and his shared bedroom to grab his laptop and get to work.

 

With his tickets purchased, he moved on to the next item on his list, laundry. Unfortunately, it was such a menial task that it allowed him more time to think than he typically liked to allow himself these days. Time to think meant thinking about Rey, and remembering just how miserable he truly was these days. He knew he’d made a mistake, he’d treated her awfully, and  he wasn’t even sure why he was so upset at the time. He just felt like he was being attacked and lashed out, but he knew Rey better than that. He knew she hadn’t been attacking him.

 

A thought flashed through his head - that he had been so defensive because he was trying to convince himself that this is all what he truly wanted. He’d always excelled in school, he was smart, and he worked hard. He knew that he was expected to go to a great college and do something important, and if he was following in his mother’s footsteps, then he was all the better for it. If he did these things he couldn’t possibly disappoint anyone. Why then did he feel like he’s disappointed everyone in the last several months, including himself?

 

He shook himself out of his thoughts as he approached the laundry room on the bottom floor of his dormitory. He turned his focus to sorting his clothes and loading a few machines. This task only lasted a few short minutes, and soon he was back to thinking about Rey. Clearly, she remained a distraction, but now instead of missing her he was mourning the loss of their relationship - on top of missing her. He was now regretting his decision to stay over the holidays, and a large part of him wanted to rush home and beg her forgiveness. He could only hope that by the time he returned in March she’d be receptive to his apology, and hopefully, she wouldn’t have already moved on.

 

That was a thought that ripped at his insides, Rey with someone else. His brain started to cycle through the different people they’d gone to high school with who could possibly be moving in on his girl right this very second. The grip of sadness that had clenched his heart began to morph into rage as scenario after scenario played out in his head, an endless loop of her giving smiles, her kisses, her thoughtful words of devotion to anyone that wasn’t him. Yelling, he slammed his fist into the nearest machine, the shock of pain coursing through his knuckles bringing him back to reality. Looking around, he checked to make sure no one had seen his loss of control before stalking out of the room to go for an anger reducing run, something that had become more common as he dealt with the aftermath of the situation he created.

 

He really needed to find a more productive use for his free time. He needed to be able to function without his mind constantly straying in this direction. Maybe instead of focusing on what Rey could possibly be doing, he should be focusing on what Rey actually deserved, on what he could say to prove to her that he could be better for her. 

  
The echo of her words from their discussion reverberated through his head, “ _ I think you’re already your best self, Ben.”  _ If this was his best, he’s screwed!


	10. The Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Rey to come clean to someone special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update hoping my friend [ fettucine_alfreylo ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo) feels better soon!

[ ](https://imgur.com/GhuEKFY)

As Christmas neared, Rey was beginning to run out of excuses to give to put Finn off. No longer having the excuse of studying meant that eventually, and that means sooner rather than later, she’d have to give in and meet up with him before he hunted her down. The two of them had a long standing tradition of getting together on Christmas Eve to watch their favorite holiday movies and eat garbage, which made the likelihood of him showing up unannounced extremely high.

 

Deciding it was better to get ahead of this situation, she pulled out her phone and called him. 

 

“Peanut! Where have you been? I miss you so much!”

 

She smiled, not quite realizing how happy just hearing his voice would make her. “Oh Peanut, I miss you too!”

 

“Well, how’s everything going? How did the end of the semester go? Tell me everything about Rey’s world right now.” 

 

“Ok, first of all, tell Poe to stop letting you have Red Bull. You’re at a ten right now, I need you to be at a seven at most. Secondly, things are,” she paused, trying to find the right words so as not to alarm him, “weird. School ended great, passed all my classes. How about you? Did you stop sucking Poe’s face long enough to actually attend your classes?”

 

His laughter rang through the phone. “We aren’t always attached at the mouth you know, sometimes we’re attached other places.”

 

She could practically hear the eyebrow wiggle in his voice. “Disgusting, Finn.”

 

“Oh, like you wouldn’t say the same thing about Ben.” Her breath caught as he said this, and she hoped he didn’t notice. “Anyways, don’t think I missed what you said first. Why are things weird, what’s going on?”

 

Sighing, she gripped the phone tighter to her ear. “It might be better if we discussed that in person, did you still want to get together tomorrow for movies?”

 

“Of course. I hope everything is ok.”

 

“We’ll talk.” She wanted to reassure him, but he was too important to her to lie to him. That’s why she’d been avoiding him.

 

“You’re worrying me, peanut,” he sounded concerned.

 

“I’m not trying to. The exact opposite, really. It’s just complicated…”

 

She heard him sigh through the phone, “Ok, we’ll discuss everything tomorrow. I’ll grab us a pizza and bring Home Alone and The Grinch.”

 

The reminder of previous years spent doing this exact thing brought joy to her heart, and she found herself getting excited. “Excellent, I’ve got ice cream, popcorn, and soda here. Also, the holiday classic Die Hard.”

 

He seemed to notice her perk up at their plans for the following day, and sounded a bit relieved when he responded. “I can’t wait! I’ll see you about 11.”

 

“Wear your comfiest PJs! We’ll see you then, Peanut.”

 

Hanging up the phone Rey was left to sit and think about how she was going to break the news to Finn. Her fear of word getting back to Ben was still high, but honestly, she wasn’t keeping this whole thing a secret forever. She worked for Ben’s Dad, and there was no way she’d deny either Han or Leia a relationship with their grandchild. She didn’t NOT want Ben in their child’s life. She just didn’t want him to sacrifice his future by playing the martyr.

 

 ~~~

 

Finn arrived at exactly 11 AM the next morning, large sausage pizza and DVDs in hand. She let him into the apartment, embracing him in an awkward one armed side hug. She then went to gather more blankets and pillows from the bedroom to create a little nest in front of the TV, while he set up the first movie and grabbed all of the snacks.

 

They both settled onto the floor with their plates of pizza and sodas, the bowl of popcorn between them, but Finn didn’t move to start the movie just yet.

 

“Ok Peanut, I’ve been in suspense for the last twenty-four hours, what the hell is going on?” He gave her a hard look, showing that he wasn’t going to budge on this.

 

“Ok, but first, when’s the last time Poe spoke with Ben?” She wasn’t looking at him, and instead kept her eyes intent on a loose thread in one of the blankets that her fingers were picking at.

 

Sounding confused, Finn said, “Not since like the beginning of the semester, I don’t think. They talked pretty regularly the first few weeks, but by Halloween I think they’d pretty much stopped completely, why? What does that have to do with what’s going on with you?”

 

Sighing, she finally looked up at him, “Any chance if I tell you something it either A) won’t get back to your boyfriend or B) he won’t go telling the whole damn world?”

 

“Poe’s not going to spread your business around.” Finn looked at her as if the accusation upset him.

 

“Look, I’m looking for it to not get back to a specific someone. And let’s be real, Poe gossips more than a judgy little church wife.”

 

“Given your previous question, I’m guessing that someone is Ben?”

 

She nodded.

 

“What the hell could be something you can’t even tell your own boyfriend?”

 

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she braced herself, “Well, for starters, he’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

 

“WHAT?!” His leg kicked out and knocked over the bowl of popcorn. “When the hell did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been going through all of that alone? That’s not healthy, Rey!” He was on his feet and pacing now, while she stared up at him from the floor.

 

“Finn, please, come sit. You’re going to want to be sitting for this.” She patted the floor beside her, before reaching to clean up the popcorn.

 

He settled back beside her, and she began to tell him all about her visit with Ben, the ensuing fight, and the break up over text.

 

“Good Lord, Peanut, you must have been devastated!” He reached over and pulled her into a hug. “What about his parents, what did they say?”

 

“They were pretty upset with him. Everyone agrees that there’s something really weird about this Snoke guy, but Ben refuses to see reason.”

 

“Yeah, he sounds super freaking sketchy, but I’m wondering what he’s feeding to Ben to make him put up with it all. He’s not exactly the kind of guy to just bow to other’s whims.” Finn continued to rub her back as they continued their embrace. “Wait, that whole story doesn’t explain you asking for something not to get back to Ben.”

 

Pulling back she looked Finn in the eyes, “You’re right, but it does explain why he can’t know what I’m about to tell you.”

 

Nodding, he held her eye contact.

 

“I’m pregnant.”

 

He stared at her, frozen, brain working overtime to make sense of what she just said.

 

“Finn? Did you hear me?”

 

Holding his hand up to acknowledge her, he continued to stare before swallowing and refocusing on her face. “Ok, so I’m going to need some more information on this one. Is it not his kid?”

 

“Of course it’s his! You know me better than that!” She was angry at his insinuation.

 

“Well, It's been a few weeks since you broke up, I didn’t know if you went for the revenge sex or not. If it’s his, why can he not know about it?”

 

“I tried to tell him when I was out there, but after everything happened, and him going on and on about his priorities, I realized what would happen if he knew. He’d drop everything to do the right thing, and then he’d resent us. I don’t want him to regret me or this child.”

 

“Look, I get what you’re saying, I really do, but the man deserves to know he’s going to be a father!” He looked at her like she’d grown an extra head.

 

“I know, and that’s why after talking all this through with Han and Leia, I told them that I’d tell him when he came home for Christmas break.”

 

“Ok, and when do you plan on doing that?”

 

“Well, now I’m not, because I found out last week that he’s decided to stay at school over break. Which is typically not allowed for freshman, but of course Mr. Snoke took care of all of that.” Frustration rang through her voice at the mention of Snoke.

 

“Ok, so now you’re just not going to tell him at all?” Finn was getting more confused as this conversation went on.

 

“Well, of course I’m going to tell him eventually! It’s not exactly like I can hide it. He’ll have to come home eventually. I just want to be able to tell him in person. I don’t want him to feel like I did this on purpose or something like that. I want to be able to see his face, to know what he truly thinks about it.” Insecurity sat heavy in her belly, and she was beginning to feel sick.

 

“I guess that makes sense, but Rey, the man’s been crazy about you since 9th grade. I really think that he’d want to know, to be a part of all of this.” Finn tried to reassure her.

 

His comforting words fell on deaf ears; however, as Rey began to sink more and more into despair. Tears collected at the rim of her lower eyelids, slowly building up and threatening to fall. Noticing this, Finn reach over to cup her cheek, catching a tear with his thumb as the first one spilled over. 

 

“You’d think I’d be used to this by now. People leaving. I want for him to want this, Finn. I want him to be a part of it, but I’m so afraid of his disappointment. I’m afraid that he’s going to think I’ve ruined his life. I couldn’t imagine this happening in a million years, we’d always been so safe. He was so passionate about what he wanted to do with his life that morning in Boston. He made it quite clear that he didn’t want to be tied down to some mechanic like his mother. He deserves better than that. He deserves better than me.” Her voice cracked as the last words left her lips, tears falling in earnest now.

 

Pulling her back into his chest, Finn held her tightly, as if trying to keep the wracking sobs leaving her body from shaking her apart. “It’s going to be ok, Peanut. I promise you. You’ll never truly be alone. Uncles Finn and Poe are always going to be here, and I know Han and Leia will be incredible Grandparents. There is no one better than you, and I’m sure that Ben knows that too. If anything, he doesn’t deserve you. You’ve always been too good for that grouch, but we all know you love him anyways. Have a little faith in him, ok?” 

 

Her sobs had ebbed, but the tears continued to fall. For a long time, they just sat on the floor, him gently rocking her and rubbing her back, frequently whispering all the things he planned on doing with his new niece or nephew. Eventually, she drew back, wiping her face with her sleeve, looking at it in disgust before laughing and showing the mess to Finn, who pretended to barf at her snot and tear covered sweatshirt. She pulled it over her head, throwing it towards the laundry closet, before turning back to him, now in just a tank top and her pajama pants. 

 

“Are you ready to start these movies? I need some holiday cheer.” She smiled at him, and he was almost convinced it was 100% real.

 

“Yeah, let’s do this! I hope you’re ready for your heart to grow three sizes.” 

  
Together, they cuddled up on the floor, wrapped in blankets, and enjoyed their favorite holiday tradition. Both of them were thinking about the addition that would be joining them for this event next year, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! A little angst, but a lot of BFF love. 
> 
> Special thanks to my beta, [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife), who is the freaking best!


	11. The New Position

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussions about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for reading. I love having the opportunity to interact with you all and share a little piece of myself through my writing. You are the greatest!
> 
> Thanks again to the incredible [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife), who somehow still manages to find the time to fix all my stupid mistakes despite writing several incredible stories of her own. Definitely go check her out.

 

The holidays passed quickly. 

 

Rey spent a quiet Christmas day with Han, Leia, Chewie, and Leia’s brother Luke. They had showered her with generic things for the baby, and everyone enjoyed a variety of Italian foods, as was Solo family tradition, with everyone bringing something to share. The noticeable absence of Ben sat heavily on everyone present, and they raised a toast in his honor, Leia and Rey barely holding it together. 

 

New Year was spent watching movies with Finn, Poe, and Rose. Introducing her new friend to her oldest friends was not something she worried too much about, she knew they’d all get along. Finn and Rey sat Poe down after Christmas and filled him in on everything that was going on. He was excited and sympathetic, agreeing not to say anything to Ben, but also saying that he wouldn’t lie if he was asked anything. It’s all she could ask of anyone in this situation.

 

Shortly after the first of the year, Han approached Rey at work, pulling her into the office to discuss a few things.

 

“Rey, I love you, kid. And I know you love your job, but with you being pregnant, we’re going to have to make some changes.”

 

A cold sweat broke out on the back of her neck, “I know the situation isn’t ideal, but I can keep working. I promise I won’t let the baby affect my work.” She needed her job to afford her apartment, and she knew Han wouldn’t kick her to the curb, but she worried about reduced hours or something like that.

 

“What the hell are you talking about, kid?” He gave her a look she’d seen often on his face when he was talking to Ben, affectionate, but also a little bit like she was stupid. “Do you think I’m letting you go or something like that? You’re one of my best techs, I’d be an absolute idiot to do something like that. Not to mention, both Chewie and my wife would absolutely kill me.”

 

Sighing with relief, she adjusted herself in the uncomfortable chair in front of his desk. 

 

“What I’m suggesting here, is that it’s probably a good idea if we get you off your feet more, not to mention, I’m sure all of the exhaust fumes aren’t the best for you both either.” He cleared his throat before rubbing his hands together nervously, “So, what I’d like to do is to put you through manager training, basically. I want to show you how to balance the books, order parts, all the office stuff. And then, once the baby comes, you can continue with the office work and bring the baby with you.” 

 

“Wait, really?” Rey was shocked. She hadn’t really considered what she’d do for child care yet, but knew it would take a considerable chunk of her paycheck. This would be a huge weight off of her.

 

“Yeah, you know how much I hate doing all that crap. I’d much rather be focused on getting my hands dirty than maintaining this part of the business. And then, if you ever wanted to tap in and lose yourself in the guts of an engine, you and I can swap out and I’ll keep an eye on the kid.” He smiled, the idea of spending time with his future grandchild during the work day exciting him.

 

She smiled excitedly, tears pooling, but not letting them fall. “That sounds amazing! Thank you so much! When would you like to start training me?”

 

“Ideally, next week. We’ll get you trained up, between Leia and I, and then in a few short weeks, you’ll start running the show. It does, of course, come with a bit of a raise, but may require some changes to your hours.”

 

“That’s no problem at all. You know I’m good for anything when it comes to work. A raise isn’t necessary, you and Leia already do so much for me, for us.” She gestured down to her stomach as she said this. 

 

“You will be properly compensated for the work that you do,” he stated firmly. “If we hired someone from the outside to do this, we’d have to pay a lot more, but I’d rather have someone I trust in this position. And I know you won’t let me down.”

 

“Yes, sir!” She was practically bouncing in her seat with excitement.

 

“Oh, and one more thing,” his tone made her pause in her frenzied motions. “Leia and I have been talking, I’m pretty sure I already know how you’ll feel about this, but we have to offer, you understand?”

 

She shook her head, perplexed.

 

“Well, we’ve gone back and forth on it, and we’d really like it if you and the baby moved in with us.” Already sensing her protests, he held up his hand to stop her, “Now, I know pretty much everything you are going to say, but I want you to take some time and consider this offer. We have that whole big house, more than we needed even when Ben was home all of the time, and with either Leia or I usually home at all times, it means more hands to help you once the baby comes. Not that we don’t think you can handle it on your own, but you’d be surprised just how sleepless some of those early nights can be.”

 

“Han, it’s a lovely offer, and I thank you both so much. But with the way things currently are with Ben, I’m not sure it’s the best idea. Maybe let's table that discussion until after he’s aware of the situation? I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable in his own home.” She was wringing her hands together as she said this, clearly upset by the idea.

 

“That’s a fair point. I’ll let Leia know.” He smiled reassuringly, hoping it would relieve some of her nerves.

 

Nodding, she threw a half smile his way before standing up, “Is that all?”

 

“Sure is, go ahead and clear out. I’ll see you tomorrow night for dinner after you and Leia go to your Doctors appointment.” 

 

With a wave she departed, suddenly remembering her appointment the next day and how they may actually get to learn the sex of the baby, and the excitement at that idea brought a bounce to her step as she headed out for the day.

 

~~~

 

The following afternoon found Rey entering Leia’s car to head to another ultrasound appointment. At this point, everyone she knew had several sonograms of her growing baby. She’d also put a copy of each one in a book, along with all sorts of little tidbits about her pregnancy thus far as a start to a ‘This Is Your Life’ kind of thing..

 

“Are you excited for today’s appointment?” Leia asked as she waited for Rey to buckle up so they could be on their way.

 

“I am, but I’ve been thinking.” Rey got settled in, and looked over at the older woman as she began to head in the direction of the Doctor’s office.

 

“Oh? About what, dear?” 

 

“Well, I know there’s a possibility of learning the sex of the baby today, but I don’t want to know it.” She nodded her head determinedly.

 

“Ok, and why’s that?” Leia threw her a surprised look.

 

“Well, I’m thinking, and I know that this will in no way make up for anything, but hopefully, Ben will find out about the pregnancy before the baby is born.” She paused, making sure Leia was paying attention.

 

“Yes, we all hope for that.” Leia nodded sagely, still focused on navigating the vehicle.

 

“Yes, well, when he does, if he decides that after all of this he actually wants to be a part of any of it,” she took a deep breath, stealing herself from the thought of him not wanting either of them. “I want to give him something that denotes the sex of the baby. And then he will be the only who knows, and he can decide whether or not he wants to tell me. I know it in no way makes up for me keeping this from him for this long, but I feel like at least it’s something.” Rey was twisting a hair tie that usually sat on her wrist around her fingers as she tapered off with her explanation, eyes focused entirely on what they were involved in.

 

“Oh, honey,” the warble in Leia’s voice had Rey glancing up at Ben’s mother. “I think that sounds absolutely lovely. I’m sure Ben will love it too.” Her eyes had grown misty. They shared a watery smile as Leia pulled into a parking space and they headed into the office together.

 

~~~

 

That night at dinner they shared Rey’s idea with Han, who was supportive of the idea, if not a little put out that he couldn’t know the sex yet so he could start planning. Regardless of what Rey had said during their conversation the day before, he’d already started converting one of the spare bedrooms upstairs into a nursery. Even if Rey didn’t come to live there, at least the baby would have somewhere to stay if she ever needed a night off.

 

He and his wife shared a look while Rey was busy pushing another bite of dinner onto her fork, maybe this set up for Ben and Rey would be easier than they expected. Rey seemed to have come on board with making Ben aware of the situation. Now they just had to get Ben here, they just had a few more months to wait.


	12. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spring break! You know what that means? Ben's going home, but not without Snoke putting in his own two cents.

[ ](https://imgur.com/93khgbT)

 

The few weeks of winter vacation drug on for Ben. He tried to focus on literally anything that wasn’t his family, and how he should be with them for those weeks. He’d called on Christmas day and spoke with his parents. He was sure that he’d heard Rey’s laughter in the background, but it may have been wishful thinking. He hoped his parents had still invited her to dinner, he hated the thought of her spending the holiday alone for the first time since they started dating during freshman year of high school.

 

Frequent meetings with Snoke led to more belittling and criticism, which just went to further upset him. The old man was convinced that he wasn’t giving his studies his all, and often wondered aloud why he was wasting his time on a child who obviously had no desire to be there.

 

Needless to say, Ben was relieved when classes started back up again shortly after the beginning of the year.  Second semester began in much the same way as the first had, introductory courses he already felt fairly confident in, leaving him with plenty of time to research and study the topics that Snoke suggested he start delving into. 

 

He was excited at the prospect of getting to go home for a short while in no time at all. In those quiet moments, when his brain wasn’t occupied by books, he was planning out what he’d say to Rey. He was certain that as soon as he saw her again, her effortless beauty would have all of his carefully laid plans out the window, but it calmed his anxiety nonetheless to have a plan. 

 

Before long, only one last thing stood between him and his vacation, a meeting with Snoke. If he’d thought that nothing could ruin his good mood, he was sorely mistaken. Apparently, nowadays, just looking at the old man sent his blood pressure skyrocketing. 

 

He approached the office with trepidation, repeating a mantra of “ _ I’m going home _ ” in his head with each step leading him onwards. 

 

The slimy smile that met him when he entered the room set him on edge. 

 

“Ah, young Solo, please come in and close the door, we have much to speak of.”

 

He did as the old man requested and sat on the uncomfortable wooden chair in front of him. 

 

“Well then, son, straight to business. I have some suggestions for you for over the spring break,” Snoke began. 

 

“Actually, sir,” Ben interrupted, getting a scathing look in consequence, “I’m going to be heading home for the break, I promised my parents I would when I decided to stay here over Christmas.” He tried not to cower as he said this, despite the hateful look the old man directed towards him. 

 

“Well, that is extremely disappointing now, isn’t it?”

 

Ben worked his jaw, teeth clenching and unclenching in irritation. “It was the only way they’d agree to me staying over Christmas. You can see why they would want me home, can’t you?”

 

“Oh, I had thought you were an adult, I appear to have been mistaken. You are clearly still a child. I’m going to tell you something that will be vital in your future as a lawyer, assuming you make it that far - caring is a flaw found on the losing side.” Snoke got up and began to pace, looking upon Ben with a critical eye. 

 

Ben had no words to give him at this statement. 

 

“I suppose I will see you sometime after you return,” he clasped his hands behind his back and nodded towards the door. 

 

“Sir, is your suggestion something I can do while I’m at home? Or something we can do when I return?” Ben asked hesitantly. 

 

“I had intended to help you speed up your timeline as you so desire to do. Working through testing out of some of the more menial classes. Not exactly something you can do away from campus, now is it? And as for when you return, well, I have many other students to look after. Would you actually request that I ignore their future in favor of your own? How selfish you are, boy.”

 

Ben’s insides were a torrent of emotions, anger, frustration, annoyance all warring inside him. “Of course, sir. I’ll leave you to it.” He moved to stand, only to be stopped by a bony, claw-like hand on his shoulder. 

 

“Maybe it is something we can do if you stay over summer break, that seems to me the only option you have?” The implications of these words were menacing, the old man seemed to be hinting at some kind of potential sabotage for his future. 

 

“I will let you know if I’m able,” Ben said through clenched teeth, before standing and walking swiftly from the room. 

 

His earlier mantra and excitement of returning home completely forgotten in the wake of that farce of a meeting. Even now he could feel the icy grip of Snoke’s hand clasping his neck, choking the will to continue this path from his system. The unfairness of this whole situation serving to push his thoughts back to before, when all he wanted was to be like his dad, fixing cars, racing them on the weekends. The pressure from the path he was currently on was killing him, but he had to keep going, and unfortunately, he needed that man’s help to do so. 

 

He headed directly from Snoke’s office to the airport, seething through the whole two hour plane ride, and even the squeal and firm embrace of his mother’s arms did little to improve his mood. He could feel his parents exchanging loaded glances at each other, and felt absolutely awful that his behavior was ruining their reunion. They took him to his favorite diner, where he picked at his dinner and mumbled half answers to the typical questions about college and his classes. He brushed off their concerns, stating that the trip drained him and he’d be fine after he slept. He really hoped that was true. 

 

Sleeping in his own bed for the first time in months was absolute heaven. The giant king sized mattress fit his massive body, a far cry from the contortions he had to pull himself into to fit on the twin sized dorm beds. He did wake in a far better mood, rushing down the stairs as soon as he was up, chasing the scent of fresh cooked bacon and coffee. 

 

He kissed his mother’s cheek as he passed her, and clapped his father on the shoulder while he set himself down into the chair next to him. His parents shared another look, but this time it was pleased and just the littlest bit smug. 

 

“What are your plans today, Ben?” His father asked, grabbing and taking a sip from the cup of coffee that his wife sat down in front of him. 

 

“No plans, I figured I’d spend the weekend hanging around with you guys, and then try and hook up with my friends during the week.” Ben looked at the array of breakfast food spread out on the table before him and began to pile his plate high with a little of everything. 

 

“That sounds lovely, Ben,” his mother smiled at him affectionately before kissing the side of his head as she moved to the seat across from him. 

 

He shoveled the food quickly into his mouth, having forgotten how good a home cooked meal could taste after months of cafeteria garbage and fast food. Both his parents watched in affectionate wonder, their stares gaining his attention after several moments. 

 

“What?” He said around a mouthful of eggs, fork full of hash browns halfway to his mouth once more. 

 

Han laughed and said unthinkingly, “You look like Rey, scarfing your food down like that. You’d think you hadn’t eaten in weeks.”

 

Everyone around the table paused, both parents presumably waiting to see how he reacted to the mention of his ex girlfriend. He moved the fork into his mouth, and all actions resumed around him.

 

“It’s like you haven’t had a decent meal in months, what do they feed you at that fancy college?” His mother said, smiling at him affectionately.

 

He’d become so used to the constant stress and insanity of school life that he felt strange not being rushed from one task to the next, having a pile of things to worry about. Smiling - the first real smile he’s had since he saw Rey back in November - he replied, “I’m pretty sure the cafeteria served different types of cardboard, covered in different sauces. Other than that it was pizza and Mcdonalds.”

 

His mother tutted in disapproval, “Well, we’re going to make sure you are well fed while you are home. I will fix you every meal, personally.” 

 

Ben shared a look with his father, silently laughing at his mother’s behavior. Growing up, the woman couldn’t cook her way out of a paper bag. After a truly atrocious family dinner when he was in 4th grade, her brother Luke gifted her with cooking lessons. She had improved greatly over the years, but he still remembered years of eating mac and cheese and little hot doggies for most meals.

 

Catching the look they gave each other, she humphed and made to get up and clean up from breakfast. Ben reached out, signaling for her to remain seated, before rising and clearing the table himself. 

 

“Who are you, and what have you done with my son?” Han asked accusingly.

 

“Calm down, old man. You can chalk it up to the guilt about missing Christmas. I promise by the end of the week I’ll be completely back to normal.”

 

Both parents laughed as Ben began to wash the dishes on the other side of the kitchen.

 

“Ben, would you be a dear and bring my cell phone over here? It should be in my purse next to the fridge over there.” His mother requested.

 

Wiping his hands on a towel, he went in search of her purse, opening it up, the first thing he noticed was an odd grainy black and white photo, but he couldn’t make out what it was supposed to be of. Pushing it aside, he rummaged around until he finally located the phone resting at the bottom of the bag. “Carry enough crap around with you?” He asked her, moving over to hand the phone off. “I’m surprised you don’t have constant back pain from lugging that thing around.”

 

She laughed at him, reaching out to grab her phone from his hand. “Funny. No, if I have back pain its from carrying all the dead weight around here, not my purse.”

 

“Hey!” Han called out beside her, watching her laugh at the deprecating comment directed towards him.

 

Ben shook his head, turning back to the dishes, but not before noticing a silent exchange between his parents. They had always seemed to have this way of communicating without words, for as long as he could remember. Entire arguments held non-verbally, with someone finally shouting, “Fine, you win!” before both moved on as if nothing had happened at all.

 

His parents had had their ups and downs, but Ben still hoped to one day have what they had. Preferably, with Rey.

 

~~~

 

He spent the next two days with his parents, as he said he would. Just hanging out, watching movies with his mother, talking cars with his dad, helping out around the house where he could. He even began helping his dad repaint one of the guest rooms.

 

“This is a nice shade of green, dad. What made you guys decide to re-decorate this room?” He asked his dad, who was still taping up the other side of the room, while he poured some paint into a tray and began moving the spongy roller through it to start covering the wall in a beautiful sage color.

 

“Oh, you know, changes.” His father said vaguely. 

 

“Are you getting new furniture as well?”

 

“Yeah, that’s the plan. Probably something white. Seems like a good contrast.” Han finished the last of the taping before moving to collect his own paint tray and roller.

 

They worked silently in tandem for a short while before Han’s voice rang out.

 

“How are you doing, kid? Really?”

 

“I’m fine, Dad.” Ben said with a sigh. “Classes are easy enough, but I’m taking on a lot of extra stuff to try and get through this college thing as quickly as I can.”

 

“Isn’t college the time when you should be going wild, and doing stupid things?” Han asked in genuine curiosity.

 

“For some people, I’m sure it is. But when have you ever known me to do something like that? Outside of racing cars with you, I don’t do wild.” Ben admitted.

 

“That’s true, I suppose. Are you happy though? Like truly happy? Is this where you feel you should be?” Han was pushing, and he had to be careful, pushing Ben too hard meant dealing with a brooding, silent teenager who would take much coaxing to open back up again.

 

“Is that what any of this is about, dad? Like, it’s just a means to an end right now, isn’t it?”

 

That gave Han pause, what did that even mean? He decided to drop the line of questioning, and they resumed working together in silence.


	13. The Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely blown away by the response to last chapter. You guys are incredible!! I ran a poll on twitter on whether I should post the next chapter today or next week, today won. So as a thank you to all of you, here's the chapter you've been waiting for. I'm pretty sure the title says it all, no summary needed. Without further ado....

[ ](https://imgur.com/dtgSU6b)

Monday morning, Ben spent a long while contemplating who to reach out to first. On the one hand, he wanted to see Rey immediately, and see if they couldn’t work their issues out. On the other, he wanted to speak with Poe, maybe get a feel for what Rey’s state of mind might be.

 

Making up his mind, he reached out to Poe, getting only voicemail. He left a message informing his friend that he was in town and hoped to get together with him. It occurred to him pretty quickly after hanging up the phone that there really wasn’t anyone else in town he cared to see.

 

He headed downstairs, where he ran into this mother, who asked if he’d mind running some errands for her. He agreed to help her out, and was promptly handed a huge laundry list of items to do or get, and her credit card.

 

“You’re such a sweet boy,” she said, while rubbing the side of his face roughly. “You can take my car, take your time, get yourself some lunch, whatever you want dear.”

 

He laughed at her antics, grabbing her keys from the countertop and exiting through the garage door.

 

~~~

 

Ben spent all day driving around town. There was no rhyme or reason to his mother’s list, and he realized he really should have looked it over first before heading out, put it in some kind of order. He went from one side of town picking up her dry cleaning, to the other to get a special order from the butcher, then back to where he was before to mail something at the post office. By the time he was even close to finishing her errands it was beginning to get dark. 

 

From the depths of his pocket, he heard his cell phone ring out. He reached in and lifted it out and to his face without even seeing who it was.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Ben, honey, can you do me one more huge favor?” His mother’s voice called from over the line.

 

“What’s up, mom?” He sounded only a little bit put out.

 

“Your father just called, something is wrong with his car. Can you please go and pick him up? He says he’ll fix it tomorrow, but he’s just too tired to deal with it tonight.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fine, I’m only on the other side of town right now, again.”

 

“I knew I could count on you, my sweet boy!” She completely ignored the sound of annoyance in his voice.

 

“Alright, tell him I’ll be about 30 minutes.”

 

“Thank you!” And with that, she hung up.

 

Sighing, he flipped the car around and headed back the way he’d just come. When he finally reached the shop, the lights were off, and it looked like the place was empty. He grabbed his phone and tried to call his dad, but the phone went straight to voicemail. 

 

After waiting there for several minutes, he decided to head inside and check on the old man. Approaching the door, he tested to see if it was already locked, and found it was still open. The thought of how unsafe that was flitted through his head. Looking around, he saw no one, but music could be heard coming from the office.

 

“Dad, you here?” He called out.

 

No answer. So, he headed in the direction of the music. As he rounded the corner, he saw her, head bopping to the music as she hunched down over the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet. Her hair was longer, flowing beautifully down her back. His legs continued to bring him closer to her without him realizing he was even moving. “R-Rey?” He didn’t want to startle her, but he realized he was quickly nearing her, and figured the sound of his voice would be less scary then his large frame just looming over her.

 

She gasped, startled, and jumped to her feet, turning to face him, the papers she’d been putting away fluttering to the ground between them. 

 

The world fell out from under him, it wasn’t her stunning face that caught his attention like it usually would. No, it was the protruding stomach that almost brushed against his own when she had turned towards him.

 

“Oh, hi,” she breathed out, a slight look of panic falling over her face.

 

“What the Fuuucckkk?” The question drug out of his mouth as he continued to stare. His feet stumbled back, and he fell heavily against his father’s desk.

 

They stared at each other for several long, silent moments, before Rey reached over and silenced the radio that had been sitting on top of the filing cabinet. Leaning against it, she looked over at him and waited. 

 

Finally, his brain snapped, unable to make any sense of the visual cues, and his mouth opened, words he wasn’t aware of thinking coming out in a rush. “Is that? Are you? What the hell is going on?!” He didn’t seem able to form complete sentences, and frustrated anger began to seep into the words he had managed to find.

 

Taking a deep breath, she straightened. “The answer to the question you can’t seem to ask is yes. I am pregnant.”

 

He was silent again, his brain trying to sort through old health classes to determine how pregnant she was, when she could have become so, was it his? He didn’t want to think of a world where she was pregnant with someone else’s baby. But if it was his, why was he just now finding out?

 

“I need to sit down.” He shook his head, trying to clear it from its panicked fog.

 

“You kind of already are, but there’s a chair to your right.” She recognized that he wasn’t really in the room with her right now, and wanted to try and help him as much as she could.

 

He moved to sit in the seat she indicated, not realizing it was the rolling office chair, and as he sat heavily on the seat, it drifted several feet away from her with the force of the motion. The unexpected movement snapped him to attention once more, throwing his feet down to stop him going any further, and he looked up at her.

 

The look on his face would be almost comical if this wasn’t so damn serious right now.

 

“Ok, so, you’re pregnant. And, and how long have you been so?” He looked so lost, and it broke her heart.

 

“Best guess is end of August.” 

 

He was relieved momentarily. He knew his girl, she would never cheat on him, and given this information - the baby had to be his. But this realization brought on a new, slightly more important question. “And how long have you known?” 

 

“Since about October,” her hands started twisting together, a sure sign she was getting nervous.

 

He took a moment to consider this, “Wait! Wait, you were there. You were there in November. And you didn’t fucking tell me?!”

 

She looked up, anger flashing through her eyes. “Yes, I was there, and I had every intention of telling you then, but you’ll recall what happened while I was there. When, exactly, would I have had time to bring that up?”

 

He looked at her accusingly, “You let me break up with you, knowing that you were pregnant with MY child?!”

“I didn’t let you do anything. Excuse me for thinking that you’re a grown ass man who can make his own decisions.” She knew she should calm down and defuse this situation, but all of the tension from the last few months had finally reached its snapping point, and she had very little ability to control herself at this moment. “You made yourself quite clear during our argument where you stood. Can you honestly tell me that if I had said anything after all that, that you wouldn’t have automatically assumed I was just trying to make a last ditch effort to keep you tied to me? After you explicitly said you didn’t want to end up stuck like your mother?”

 

“I wasn’t talking about you!”

 

“That’s not the point, Ben! Another thing for you to consider, say that I’d told you, assuming you wouldn’t be absolutely terrified and left right then and there. How long before your good buddy Snoke had you convinced it was a lie, or it wasn’t your kid, or any other bullshit tactic to get you under his control once more?”

 

“He wouldn’t do that!” Ben was beginning to get defensive, as he usually seemed to do when Snoke was mentioned. He really didn’t know why he kept doing that, hadn’t he himself been mad at the guy not too long ago?

 

“I didn’t realize you were a liar, Ben. Look me dead in the eyes, and tell me you honestly believe that Snoke wouldn’t have interfered in some way if you had mentioned this to him.” She stood in front of him now, hands on her hips.

 

He tried to look her in the eyes and do as she asked, he really did, but his eyes kept frantically moving around the room instead.

 

“That’s what I thought.” She said somewhat smugly, although she hadn’t intended to.

 

“You still should have told me!” He demanded.

 

“Well, funny you should say that. See, I had no intention of saying anything to you after the breakup, because I didn’t want to interfere with your life, or your goals. Your parents, on the other hand, insisted that you needed to know. I agreed to tell you when you came home for Christmas. I felt you deserved to hear about this from me, in person, instead of over the phone or text. But you didn’t come home. No, the amazing Mr. Snoke told you to stay at school - and so you did.”

 

He stopped to consider what she was saying. She made a lot of sense. It hurt like hell, but he could understand why she made the choices she had. Understanding didn’t stop him from being angry.

 

“What the hell am I supposed to do here, Rey?” He sounded defeated and lost.

 

“That’s for you to decide, Ben. I’m not going to make any decisions for you. Take some time, figure out what you want to do, then let me know.” She looked at him, her face softening, some of the wind going out of her sails. 

 

“I don’t even know where to fucking start!” 

 

She turned away from him, walking to the other side of the room. Her purse sat on a small table, she rummaged through it and pulled a few things out. Walking back to him, she placed the items on the desk beside him. “Take these, look them over, and consider what kind of future you want given all of this new information. And then, let me know.” Then she left, grabbing her purse on the way out, throwing a “please lock up when you leave” over her shoulder at him, knowing that he knew there was a key on Leia’s keyring he had been holding when he walked in.

 

He glanced down at the book and sealed envelope in front of him. Opening up the book and flipping through the pages, he saw them full of Rey’s neat handwriting, along with pictures, just like the one he’d seen in his mom’s purse. It occurred to him then, his parents had known the whole time and hadn’t said anything to him. Anger raced through him again, he grabbed the things Rey had left him, shut out the light and locked the door to the building before getting in his mother’s car and racing home.

 

Pulling up to his parent’s house, he jumped out of the car with the book and letter in his hand, before barging in the front door. Looking frantically around for his parents, he finally found them seated on the back porch, his father turning something on the grill and his mother sitting nearby sipping a glass of wine. They turned to face him as he stomped out the back door.

 

“You knew, this whole damn time! And you didn’t say a thing to me?” He shouted angrily at them.

 

“It wasn’t for us to tell,” his mother said, setting her drink down and looking at him imploringly. 

 

“You two are adults now, these are the things you have to learn to navigate on your own,” Han continued for his wife.

 

“But I fucking deserved to know!” Tears were gathering in his eyes.

 

“Oh honey,” Leia stood to make her way to her son, “we agree with you. And that’s why we convinced her to tell you.” She went to hug him, but he held out his arms.

 

“Don’t! Don’t touch me right now,” he insisted, breaking his mother’s heart.

 

“We agreed that you should be told in person, and she promised to tell you at Christmas.” Han approached the two, resting his hand on Leia’s shoulder in comfort. “But then you didn’t come home.”

 

“If you had said something, I would have been on the first flight back here!” He pointed the book in his hand accusingly at them.

 

“Perhaps that is why she chose not to say anything. She knew that you had things to worry about, and didn’t want you racing off and putting your future at risk?” His mother attempted to reason with him.

 

“Whatever!” He said, before stomping back inside and making his way to his room.

 

He threw himself on his bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment. What the hell was he going to do?

 

He pulled himself up to a seated position, leaning back against his headboard before opening up the book and beginning to read. It appeared to be a baby book, with detailed moments of Rey’s pregnancy up to this point, the front inside cover reading only “Baby Solo”. With a sigh, Ben began to turn the pages, trying to absorb every moment of his child’s development thus far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, let me tell you, [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife) is a machine! She's working on several incredible stories of her own, and still manages to help so many of us out with editing. She's AMAZING! Go check her out.


	14. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's got a decision to make. Thankfully, he's not alone. Rey talks about how she thinks things went with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my last update before vacation!!! I see no reason why I wouldn't update next week, I should have plenty of down time, and chapter 15 should be on its way to my beta tonight. But I wanted to let y'all know just in case I am unable to update.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

[ ](https://imgur.com/CVD7eIY)

 

Over an hour of reading later, and Ben was caught up with what had been going on in Rey and his child’s life while he’d been at school. Tears rolled down his face as he took in the most recent sonogram of his baby. 

 

Reaching over, he grabbed the envelope and opened it up, pulling out a letter, along with another envelope that had been folded up to fit in the first one. Unfolding the letter, he read:

 

_ 1/11/2019 _

_ Dear Ben, _

 

_ I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now, finally knowing what I have known for months. I want you to know that I never intended for any of this to happen. I know how much your going to Harvard means to you, and how important a good future is.  _

 

_ I also, initially, had no intention whatsoever of keeping any of this from you. But, I know what kind of man you are. I know that the moment I said something, you would have dropped everything to “do the right thing”. It’s not necessary for you to sacrifice your goals to take responsibility in the manner which most would assume is the right way. You can still be responsible and achieve your goals. _

 

_ All I want for you, Ben, is your happiness. So, whatever a happy future for you looks like is ok by me. Whether you choose to be a part of our lives or not, or if you just want to be in the baby’s life and not mine. Whatever you think is best, I will follow your lead. If you don’t want this baby, I will not come after you for any kind of support. I will allow your parents to have a relationship with their grandchild, but I will not force you to be a part of this in any way. But, if you want us, well, baby and I would be more than happy to have you in our family. _

 

_ I know that school is important, and if you decide to be a part of this, I don’t see any reason why you can’t continue to attend. The baby won’t remember the first several years of their life, there’s no reason you couldn’t finish your degree, and just come home on your breaks to see them. _

 

_ I really want you to take your time, and think about all of this before you tell me what you want. The thought of you coming to me in five, ten, or even fifteen years and telling me how much you regret this choice haunts me constantly. I never want to be the reason that you feel like your life turned out poorly or not the way you expected. You deserve more than all of this, and yet, this is the situation we find ourselves in. _

 

_ I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this happened, we were so careful, but here we are. I’m sorry that I’ve kept this from you for so long, I truly felt like I was doing the right thing. I can only hope that you will forgive me if this was the wrong choice. At this point I no longer know how you feel about me, but I meant what I said in my last text, I will always love you, Ben Solo. _

 

_ I know it is unlikely to make a bit of difference in your mind, but I wish to attempt to even the score a bit, if you will. Along with this letter, you’ll find another envelope. Inside is a piece of paper with the sex of our child written on it. No one is privy to this information, not even myself. You will be the only person to know if we are having a boy or a girl, and you can decide what to do with that information, who you tell, and when. A secret about our child that only you are aware of. An olive branch, to hopefully make you feel closer to our child. Even if you decide not to have anything to do with any of this, you can keep that secret. _

 

_ Please think carefully about everything I’ve said here. You know where to find me if you want to talk about any of it, even if you haven’t made a decision. I’ll be there to answer any questions, or just to listen. _

 

_ Sincerely, _

_ Rey _

 

He pulled out the other envelope, turning it over in his hands. He had much to think about.

 

~~~

 

Rey exited the building, leaving Ben behind to think. She moved around the corner, leaning against the wall and taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. That had gone better than she expected, but it was still rather upsetting. Shakily reaching into her purse, she pulled out her phone and called Finn.

 

“Peanut!” He exclaimed upon answering after the second ring.

 

“Hey Peanut, any chance you can come pick me up at work?” Rey attempted to sound as normal as possible. “Han had troubles with his car, and asked to take mine home earlier - something about an emergency with Leia.”

 

“Of course, I’ll be there in 5-10. You ok? You sound a little shaken up.” 

 

“Yeah, I’ll explain everything when you get here. I’m on the north side of the building.” At this point she should just stop trying to sound ok when she wasn’t, everyone noticed anyways.

 

“Ok, I’ll be there as soon as I can, hun, stay warm, just because it’s almost spring doesn’t mean it’s not chilly out.”

 

“You got it, Peanut,” she said with a smile, and hung up.

 

Shortly after hanging up the phone with Finn she heard the front door open and close - Ben locked up as she’d asked him to. She then heard him run to his car and peel out of the lot.  _ Well, that can’t be good… _

 

A few minutes later, Finn pulled up in front of her with the passenger window rolled down.

 

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” He joked from the driver’s seat.

 

“Funny, Peanut.” She rolled her eyes at him. Taking a deep breath, she pushed off from the wall she’d been leaning on and opened the door, sliding in as gracefully as she could for as pregnant as she was.

 

“You know me. I’m hilarious,” he flashed her a smile, checking to make sure she was seatbelted in before moving the shifter from park and beginning to drive. “Where are we heading, Peanut? Am I taking you home, or are we grabbing some dinner and chatting about what’s got you so worked up?”

 

Leaning her head back against the seat, she sighed, “While I’m not exactly hungry after what just happened, this baby is singing a different tune. I guess let’s grab some food, and I’ll spill some tea for you.”

 

“Sounds good to me. What’s the baby hungry for?”

 

Rubbing her stomach and humming in thought, she took a moment before responding. “Baby says go to Sonic, it’s the only place to get everything it wants.” She smiled at him cheekily.

 

“Sonic it is!”

 

They drove in relative silence all the way to the restaurant, Finn pulling into a coral outside the Sonic and turning off the car. They spent several moments pouring over the menu, before finally placing an order, Finn’s eyes getting wider as Rey’s list got longer and weirder. 

 

It took several moments for their food to be brought out. Mozzarella sticks, a chili dog, French toast sticks, and more were all pulled from the bag as Rey began shoving food into her mouth. Finn watched on distractedly, especially as she dipped a mozzarella stick into the syrup that came with the french toast sticks and chewed it happily.

 

Noticing his stare, Rey stopped eating and looked at him. “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Nothing,” Finn said, shaking himself, hoping to wipe his face of the disgusted look that was there - like an etch-a-sketch. “So, tell me what happened,” he pushed her.

 

“Oh, right. So, you know I’ve been trying to get that office into some kind of order since taking on the manager role,” she paused, watching him nod in recognition. “Well, I was working on the filing - when guess who walks into the office?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Ben!” She watched as recognition fell over his face, and his mouth moved in a silent ‘Oh shit’. “Anyways, the first thing he noticed was obviously this little addition,” she gestured towards her middle with a nod of her head. 

 

“How did he react?” Finn was concerned, although she wasn’t crying, so it must not have been too bad.

 

“Better than I expected. He seemed to still be in shock when I left him there. He came running out shortly after I hung up with you, and peeled out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell though, so I may have just missed the major fall out. I know this discussion with him is far from over, but I gave him plenty to think about for now.”

 

Finn knew about her plan with the baby book, and she’d told him about the letter, too, so he was on board with what she meant. “Well, you keep me updated, and if you need anything, you let me know. I know he wouldn’t hurt you intentionally, but we all know that Ben Solo doesn’t like to be backed into a corner. He may lash out, and I want you safe.”

 

“He would never hurt me, Finn. I know he wouldn’t, even with all of this.” She was sure of herself - and of Ben.

 

“I don’t mean physically, sweety, too much stress isn’t good for the kiddo. That’s all I’m saying.” He reached out to steal a mozzarella stick, eliciting a screech from her in protest.

 

“You can’t be too worried about me if you’re stealing all of my food, depriving my child of life giving nutrients!” She was glad to have the tough part of the conversation out of the way.

 

“Pfft, your child is in no danger of starving right now, I promise. It might violently protest this hodge podge you call sustenance, but that’s your problem, so long as you make sure to vomit OUTSIDE of my car.”

 

It was truly remarkable how some time with her best friend could make everything ok again. She loved Ben, but Finn just got her in so many ways. He was her brother in a world where she had no actual family to speak of.

 

Sitting back against the seat, she chewed thoughtfully. She did actually feel better now that Ben knew. His arrival at the shop had been so unexpected, she didn’t have time to sit and worry about what she’d say, or how he’d react. It all just unfolded on its own. She knew the situation was far from handled, but the most important part was dealt with, and the ball was now in Ben’s court - whatever he decided to do.

 

~~~

 

Ben hadn’t left his room for the rest of the night, nor the following day. His mother came to his door, trying to coax him to come to meals, but he had no appetite. Rey had told him to think about what he wanted - and he was doing just that. 

 

There was no doubt in his mind that he still loved Rey, even if this scenario they found themselves in irritated him. Not the baby, but rather his not knowing about it until now. He teetered back and forth in his mind between being angry with Rey for keeping this from him for so long, and being angry with himself that she’d had to do all of this, so far, alone. The thought of how scared she must have been when she found out, and again when he broke up with her, had him wanting to break everything around him. Thankfully, he was too mentally exhausted to actually move.

 

So the choices, as he saw them, were this: 

 

Drop out of school, come back home, get a job, maybe attend community college and help support and take care of his girl and their baby.

 

Or, as she had suggested, return to school, continue to try and accelerate through the course loads, coming home as often as he could to see his girl and their baby - all the while praying that his child wouldn’t remember his absence in their early years, and that the distance didn’t destroy his relationship with Rey.

 

The second option did not sound very desirable. The thought of possibly missing his child’s first words, or first steps, made his heart ache. And that didn’t even cover how being away from Rey made him feel.

 

He knew who he needed to talk to, aside from Rey, that was, but he was still so mad at his mother for not telling him. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to snap at her when he did ask her what he needed to know. Especially because it was already such a touchy subject between them.

 

Deciding on a course of action, he got up and made his way into the shower. He hoped to calm his inner turmoil enough to be level headed. Once he’d cleaned himself up and tried his hand at meditation for the first time since his teen years, he went in search of his mom.

 

Finding her in the sitting room reading a book, he quietly sat in the chair beside her and waited for her to acknowledge him. She quickly closed her book and gave him her full attention. 

 

“How you holding up there, kiddo?” Her eyes softened as she took in the dark circles under his eyes.

 

Clearing his throat, he looked at the woman he held such love, and yet so much frustration, for. “I need to ask you some questions.”

 

“Of course, honey, anything.”

 

“What was it like, when I was a baby?” He searched her face imploringly.

 

She thought for a moment, not entirely sure what he was looking for. “It was different. You were a surprise, and we really didn’t know what we were getting into. Don’t ever think for one second that just because you weren’t planned, that that means you weren’t loved. We loved you so much, right from the get go. But the timing was weird, as you are aware.”

 

“That’s what I mean. You were still trying to make a career for yourself when I came along. You missed out on a lot. How does that make you feel?” He noticed the pain in her eyes as he asked this, knowing that this had been the crux of his issues growing up - her absence.

 

“It was so hard,” tears swam in her eyes, and her throat tightened as she spoke, “I literally felt like I was being torn in two. I wanted to be with you every second of every day, but I knew that what I was doing was important. Leaving you with the nanny every morning, sometimes not even getting to say goodbye, and coming home in time to put you to bed, I missed so much. Sometimes I wonder how things would be different if I’d made a different choice back then, but you’re such an amazing young man. I wouldn’t go back and change things, because then you wouldn’t be you, and I love you so much, even with any issues we have - or will have in the future.” She reached out and grasped his hand.

 

Looking at their clasped hands for a moment, he considered what she’d said. “I’m sure that a part of you feels guilty for making that choice, for missing so much. I want you to know that you don’t have to any more. I forgive you for not being there. I do understand your decision, even if I may not be willing to make the same one. I spent so much time as a child feeling hurt that my mother wasn’t around like other kids mothers were, but now that I’m older, I get it, and I’m letting that hurt go. I’m not that little boy anymore. You’re here now, and I can’t thank you enough for how much you’ve helped Rey and my baby out so far. Now,  _ now _ is what’s important.” 

 

He stood, using the hold he had on her hand to pull her up from her chair as well. Pulling her into a tight hug, he breathed in her scent deeply and exhaled, releasing years of pent up emotions in its wake. By the time he finally pulled away, they both had tears streaming down their faces. Glancing at each other they began to laugh, wiping the tears away as they did so. The cathartic release left them both feeling lighter. 

 

“I should probably reach out to Rey,” he suggested, looking down at his feet sheepishly.

 

“In your own time,” she reached up and patted his cheek. “Although, if you were interested, you could probably take her to her next doctor’s appointment on Thursday. It would give you two a chance to chat, and you’d also get to see the baby with your own two eyes.”

 

“That sounds amazing! I’ll text Rey and see if she’s ok with that. I wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable.” His whole face lit up with a smile at the thought of seeing his child for the first time. “I’m going to go text her right now, thanks, mom.” He went to move away, before pausing and turning back to her, pulling her into another quick hug, “I mean it, thank you, for everything.”

 

Leia watched him disappear back up the stairs with a smile on her face. No, she wouldn’t change any of the choices she made. After all, each one helped form her little family, and she wouldn’t trade that for anything.

 


	15. The Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's got a few more people to talk to before he sees Rey again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience while I was on vacation! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> And as always, thank you so much [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife) for being an incredible beta and helping me work through all my crazy ideas!

[ ](https://imgur.com/LoxSCqJ)

 

_ Hey Rey, my mom told me about your doctor’s appointment on Thursday. If you don’t mind, I’d like to accompany you, and maybe after, we could grab some food and talk? _

 

Ben hit send, and eagerly awaited her reply. In order to hold his anxiety at bay, he backed out of the message and opened a new message feed, typing in Poe’s name at the top before shooting him a quick text, asking if he was free the next day to hang out. The response from Poe came almost immediately, agreeing to meet up with him the following afternoon. Ben typed out some suggestions on where they could meet, then switched back to the feed with Rey. He had to remind himself that it was the middle of the day, and that she did have work. However, with her being in the office now, she should have more access to her phone than she did before. He tried not to worry as the minutes ticked by.

 

In frustration, he went in search of his backpack, pulling out a book for one of his classes. He opened it and began to read ahead. He wasn’t sure that he was planning on going back at the end of the week as he had originally planned. He was very much leaning towards staying here and being there for Rey and the baby, but the distraction was necessary, and so he read.

 

He had read the same paragraph about 30 times after 15 minutes of attempting to concentrate when his phone alerted him to a new text message.

 

_ I think that would be a good idea. My appointment is at 10:30. Did you want to meet there? _

 

It wasn’t an enthusiastic reply, but it wasn’t scathing either, so that was a win in his book.

 

_ Or I could pick you up and take you? That way you don’t have to worry about driving, plus, more time to talk. _

 

He wouldn’t force himself on her, but he really hoped that she’d agree. 

 

_ Ok, yeah, that sounds good. See you at my place at about 10? _

 

He responded in the affirmative before telling her he’d talk to her later. The anxiety ridden teenager inside of him decided it might be best if he made a list of talking points and questions he wanted to address with her, so reaching back into his backpack he pulled out a notebook and pen and began putting his thoughts to paper.

 

~~~

 

The next morning found Ben getting ready to go meet up with Poe. They’d agreed to meet up for lunch at a favorite diner of theirs from high school, so he was excited to see his best friend, but maybe even more excited for a triple chocolate shake.

 

He pulled up to the restaurant at exactly noon, and walking in he noticed Poe already seated at their usual booth. Poe jumped up when he saw him approaching and pulled him into a bear hug, the height difference between the two making it look extremely comical. Pulling away from each other, they scooted into either side of the booth and began to talk.

 

“How’s college life treating you, big guy?” Poe asked with a wide smile on his face.

 

“Ok, I guess,” Ben replied, moving some hair out of his face. “I’m exhausted, but that’s likely because I’m trying to fast track the whole thing - so I’m constantly working.”

 

“Oof, that’s rough bro.”

 

“Yeah. How about you? How’s school? Finn?” 

 

“School is, well school. Not much to share there, freshman year, you know. And Finn is perfection, as usual.” Poe flashed a teasing look at his friend, hoping to make him uncomfortable with little to no success. They’d been friends for too long.

 

Conversation ceased as the waitress appeared and took their order, they hadn’t even needed to look at the menu before hand, just ordering the same cheeseburger/milkshake combination they’d been consuming since 9th grade.

 

As the waitress walked away, Ben looked at his friend. He supposed he probably needed to say something about his current situation. He could probably use some of Poe’s advice for the decision he needed to make anyways.

 

“So, uh, you see Rey lately?” He really didn’t know how to have this conversation.

 

“Um, yeah,” Poe looked around the diner somewhat nervously. “Probably about two weeks ago.”

 

“Hmmm,” Ben considered this. “So, you know then?”

 

Poe nodded.

 

A spike of anger hit Ben at that. It made sense that Poe would know, he was here, after all. But the knowledge that literally everyone else knew before he did upset him.

 

“And you didn’t think that was something you probably should have mentioned to me?” The annoyance was clear in his voice.

 

Poe looked at him incredulously. “Dude! When was I supposed to have said something? You haven’t bothered talking to me since before Halloween!”

 

Ben looked at him, confused, that couldn’t be right. “No, I’m sure I’ve talked to you since then.”

 

“You really haven’t,” Poe gave him an equally annoyed glance. “Not a call, text, or even a damn facebook message from you. Not a peep.”

 

Ben sat in silence trying to remember the last conversation he had with his friend. How had he lost so much time like that? He couldn’t remember distancing himself this much, but he must have.  _ Wow, I’m a dick,  _ he thought to himself.

 

“Shit, man, I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized.”

 

“I get it, college can get overwhelming. But before you start accusing people of things - maybe think about your own actions.” Poe gave him a firm, yet sympathetic look.

 

“You’re right, I’m sorry. Damn, I really don’t know what I’ve been doing with my life lately. And this whole situation is a whole new kind of messed up.” Ben ran his fingers frustratedly through his hair.

 

“If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t really tell anyone but your parents until you didn’t come home for Christmas. She wanted you to be the first to know, and when that didn’t work out, she wanted to make sure you were at least one of the first. She loves you, man. She didn’t even mention the breakup until she told us why she didn’t want you to know.” Poe was trying to make him feel better, but really he just felt even shittier.

 

“Why would she do that? She had every right to rage and drag my name through the mud, I know that’s not really her style, but I truly wouldn’t have blamed her.” Confusion ran deeply through him.

 

“Like I said, she loves you.” Poe shrugged.

 

“Or, she used to at least,” Ben shrugged back at him. “Not too sure how she’s feeling now.”

 

Poe looked at him incredulously, “God, you’re an idiot.”

 

“What?” Ben was taken aback by his blunt response.

 

“Have you not been paying attention? She’s freaking crazy about you! Lord help anyone who says anything bad about you in her presence. Doesn’t matter who it is, that girl is a tiger, she will strike them down. Throughout all of this she has not said a single thing against you. Someone doesn’t just wake up one morning no longer loving someone else, and she certainly hasn’t stopped loving you.” The finality in Poe’s tone finally seemed to chip away a bit at the wall of assumptions he’d built in his head.

 

Conversation paused as the waitress returned with their orders. They nodded their thanks before digging in and returning to the conversation at hand.

 

“Although, I do have to say, she’s probably just as stupid as you are,” Poe stated, shoving a fry into his mouth.

 

“Why would you say that?” Ben was torn between anger that Poe would say something negative about his girl, and curiosity as to what he meant.

 

“Her main reason for not wanting you to know was that she didn’t think you loved her anymore, basically. She didn’t want to tie you down in a situation you wanted nothing to do with. You’re both idiots for thinking that either of you could be happy with a lifetime apart. Even without this baby, I bet you had a grand plan of coming home hoping to win her back, am I wrong?”

 

Ben could feel the heat high on his cheeks as the blush overtook him, taking a large bite of his burger to delay his answer. Swallowing, he stated, “No, uh, you’re not wrong. It may have been the only thought I’ve had since refusing to come back for Christmas.”

 

“That’s what I thought.” Poe looked smug. “So what’s your plan here, brother?”

 

“Well, I don’t really know. Logic is telling me one thing while my heart is telling me another.” Ben dropped his miserable face to the table top, pushing his plate out of the way.

 

“And the logical thing to do would be?”

 

“She wrote me a letter, in it she suggested that the baby wouldn’t remember the first several years of its life, and that I should finish up school, coming home on breaks to see them if I wanted to. By the time I’d be done would be about the right age to start making memories,” Ben explained.

 

Poe appeared to scoff at this idea, but quickly schooled his features, not wanting to influence Ben’s decision. “Ok, and your heart?”

 

“Drop everything and never leave her side again, obviously.”

 

Poe sat and thought for a moment. “Can you do both? Is that at all feasible?”

 

“The only way I see that being possible would be to drag her all the way to Boston with me. That would be if she was even willing to be with me again in the first place. Considering the sacrifice that would mean for her, I just don’t know that that’s an option.” 

 

“You do have a point there. You’d be taking away her entire support system. No better way to make someone resent you than removing them from all of their loved ones.” Poe nodded sagely. “Maybe you should just discuss it all with her. I mean, I could help you brainstorm all day, but it won’t do any good if she doesn’t agree to any of it.”

 

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Ben agreed.

 

“All I’m going to say on the subject is to think about what’s best for everyone in this situation, and try to work with both your head and your heart. If they aren’t in agreement, I don’t see you being happy with your decision.”

 

“When’d you get so wise?” Ben looked at Poe incredulously.

 

Poe beamed at him, “I’ve been practicing ever since I found out I was going to be an Uncle!”

 

“Good lord, I see that you're still the biggest cheese ball in the world.” Ben took a final bite of his burger, shoving the remainder in his mouth and swallowing it down with a gulp of his shake. “Let’s get out of here, go play video games or something?”

 

Poe nodded, finishing up his own meal. Both of them placed a ten dollar bill on the table to pay for their meal, before getting up and exiting the diner. 

 

The rest of the afternoon was spent goofing off like they did all throughout their childhood, which was a much needed reprieve for Ben.

 

~~~

 

Returning home that evening, there was one last person Ben wanted to speak with before seeing Rey the next day. 

 

After searching the house, he finally located his father in the garage. 

 

Although his old man’s main passion had always been cars, he fancied himself a novice carpenter. Ben recalled several homemade pieces of furniture his father had gifted to his mother over the years. A particular Mother’s Day was the clearest in his mind, as he had helped his father build a footstool with his mother’s initials carved into the side, so she could finally reach the top of her bookshelves. He had been so proud of that gift. 

 

Entering the slightly chilled garage, he saw his dad at his work bench near the back. Making his way over to him, he quietly sat down on the barstool he had frequented as a child and waited for the other man to acknowledge him. 

 

In the quiet, he observed his father’s work worn hands sanding down a thin slat of wood. His eyes followed those hands up the arm and to the aging face of Han Solo.

 

He wasn’t old by any means, but there were definitely more wrinkles than he recalled being there before, a few more grey hairs along the temple. An odd thought about no one being immune to the affects of time popped into his head. 

 

“The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh?” His father’s gruff voice rang out, breaking up the quiet shushing of sandpaper on wood. 

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Ben responded, feeling so much like the child he had just been reminiscing about.

 

His father continued sanding, as Ben remained silent beside him. His dad had always been good at that - waiting for Ben to say what he needed to in his own time. Finally, as if hypnotized by watching his father’s hands, words just came out without him being aware of saying them. 

 

“I’m going to be a father.”

 

Han nodded, not looking over at his son, giving the younger man a few moments in case he wanted to say anything more. “Yeah, and how are you feeling about that?” Han said when Ben didn’t add anything to his original statement.

 

“Kind of terrified,” Ben moved his eyes back up to Han’s face. “Were you this scared, when you found out about me?”

 

Han smiled, hands pausing in the movement for him to glance up at his son. “Oh, absolutely petrified. I think I held it together well enough for your mother, but as soon as I had a minute on my own, I freaked the heck out, got in my car, drove faster and more reckless than I ever had before all the way to your grandparents lake house. I sat on the shore for hours - I think I was almost catatonic.”

 

Ben smiled, glad that at least he hadn’t over-reacted quite like his father had. “When’d you finally come to?”

 

“Several hours later. Your mother sent Luke out looking for me,” he laughed, recalling the memory. “He wasn’t quite as weird back then, he pulled up shortly after sunset with a 12 pack, no clue where he got it, he didn’t look a day over 15. We worked through the whole case in silence, and when the last one was empty he slapped my back and said, ‘welcome to the family, jackass.’ And then he left.”

 

Ben huffed out a laugh, “Yeah, I can see Uncle Luke doing that.”

 

“Yeah. After sobering up, I went home and we talked about everything. After that it didn’t really feel real, not until I was holding you in my arms.” His father’s eyes looked misty as he recalled those first moments with baby Ben. 

 

“Well, I always wanted to be just like you when I grew up.” Ben said, looking down at his large feet perched awkwardly on the low rung of the stool. “Just never thought it would be this aspect of you that I followed.”

 

“Well, life will throw you punches like this, and you just gotta learn how to roll with them, kid.” Han picked up the piece of wood once more and began sanding again. “I should probably tell you, your mother and I asked Rey to move in with us.” He watched Ben carefully from the corner of his eyes, gauging his reaction. 

 

“You did?” Ben looked surprised. “What did she say?”

 

“She was hesitant to agree, or even really discuss it until you were aware of the situation. She didn’t want you to be uncomfortable in your own home if you decided that you didn’t want to be a part of this.” 

 

The look of surprise on Ben’s face morphed to one of concern. “It’s not the worst idea. I’ve never really liked the idea of her being alone at that apartment, it’s not exactly the best part of town.”

 

“Our thoughts exactly. And once the baby’s here, there would be extra sets of hands to help her out.”

 

Something dawned on Ben in that moment, “Wait a minute, the spare room! You were painting it for her, weren’t you?”

 

“Well, for the baby. No one knows what it’s going to be, so I decided to do something neutral that I knew Rey would like.”

 

Ben smiled, “That’s really nice, Dad. I think she’s going to like it.”

 

Han smiled at him, and they lapsed into silence. 

 

Ben reached over and grabbed a sheet of sandpaper and a wood slat of his own and began to smooth out the wood. After several minutes he spoke once more. “How disappointed would you be if I didn’t go back to school?” He wouldn’t look at his father, instead staring intently at the work his hands were doing. 

 

Han took a few moments to think about this. “You know, son, it’s not about whether or not I’d be disappointed. It’s about if you’d be disappointed. You need to think about what giving up an opportunity at Harvard would mean for you, because it’s not likely that you’ll get another chance at that one if things don't go as you expected.”

 

Ben was silent once more, presumably thinking these words over. 

 

“I will say, however, that it would be unwise to not return and finish out the semester.” His Dad was looking at him once more. 

 

“But what about the baby?” Ben seemed surprised by what his dad just said. 

 

“The baby won’t be here until late in May. You should have a few weeks once the semester ends before the baby is set to get here. If you at least finish out the semester you can transfer those credits.” Han knew his son, knew that there was no way he wouldn’t be coming home once he heard about the baby, so he’d done some research on this. 

 

“I suppose that’s probably the best thing to do. Then I could apply to Chandrila University in the fall.” Ben pondered this new idea, and liked the way it was sounding. Maybe he wouldn’t have to miss any of his baby’s life after all. “Thanks, Dad. I knew I could count on you to give it to me straight.” He went back to focusing on the wood in his hand. 

 

Han smiled at his son before reaching over and ruffling the now slightly longer dark hair, causing Ben to cry out about saw dust and oil treatments. Han barked a laugh at that. Well, the kid had to get something from Leia, even if it was just the Skywalker tendency to be a drama queen and the need to always look impeccable. They spent the rest of the evening diligently smoothing out wood slats and talking cars. 


	16. The Appointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey finally have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that it’s taken so long to get this chapter out. I appreciate everyone’s patience while I dealt with some personal stuff and writers block. I hope the extra length of this chapter makes up for the wait! 
> 
> Be advised, we’ll likely see some added tags next chapter.

[](https://imgur.com/01Fb0go)

Ben could barely sleep that night. He didn’t know what to expect from the next day, but he was anxious to see Rey again, and was slightly afraid for the doctor’s appointment. He logically knew that Rey was pregnant with his baby, but at his point those words didn’t mean much to him. 

 

Finally sick of tossing and turning, Ben pulled himself from bed at 5:30 and went for a morning run. He pushed himself to his limits, hoping it would help to calm him, running for well over an hour and tackling the tallest hills he could find. He stumbled back into his parent’s house just before seven, sweat soaked and panting. 

 

He went into the kitchen to get some water, throwing an exhausted morning greeting to his mother, who was making breakfast. She gave him a disgusted look at his appearance, which gave him the biggest urge to hug her, just to gross her out. He approached her, arms stretched wide, causing her to screech at him and hold the spatula in her hand up like a weapon.

 

“Don’t you dare touch me until you’ve had a shower!”

 

He laughed at her, turning to reach into the fridge for a water bottle instead. “But I love you, mommy.” He tried to pout at her, but couldn’t keep a straight face savoring the look of horror on her face as he neared her. 

 

“I love you too, but I’ve already showered this morning, and you are all sweaty and stinky. Go shower. Breakfast should be ready by the time you’re done.” She was still shaking her spatula at him threateningly. 

 

“Sure thing, mom.” He managed to catch her with a kiss on the cheek as he passed, leaving her frantically wiping at her face and calling him a brat as he retreated, laughing the whole way.

 

He returned to the kitchen twenty minutes later, hair still wet from his shower, and sat down to have breakfast with his mom. “Dad already leave for work?” He asked as he tucked into the breakfast burrito on his plate.

 

“Yeah, said something about his best employee taking the day off, so he has to pull double duty.” 

 

“Pfft, he’s just mad because he has to actually do paperwork today.” Ben said, scoffing at his father’s antics. “I’ll bet he was ecstatic to have the excuse to put Rey in the office so he didn’t have to do any of the administrative stuff anymore.” 

 

“You know your father well. You looking forward to today?” She asked, looking curiously at him.

 

“Yeah, I’m not really sure what to expect, but it’ll be good to finally talk to Rey about everything.” He took a long pull from his glass of orange juice, swallowing down the lump of unease in his throat as he did.

 

“I’m very proud of you for taking this all so calmly, it truly speaks volumes of your emotional growth.” She smiled at him.

 

“Well, I really only have myself to be angry with. I caused this rift between us. I listened to Snoke, and put his suggestions before the ones I care about. If I had been more attentive to her, to all of you, it wouldn’t have taken this long for me to be here. He just seemed to understand my desires better than anyone else, and really seemed to want to help me.” He’d been giving this Snoke thing some thought, and while he still felt indebted to the man, he understood that some of the behavior there wasn’t very healthy.

 

“It’s very big of you to see that, son. But keep in mind, you’re still a teenager, you may be considered an adult now, but you’re still learning and growing. Not all of this falls on your shoulders. However, I think you probably do need to think about some of Snoke’s motivations in helping you. I’m not saying that there aren’t people in this world who are willing to help others like that, but from what you’ve told me, he doesn’t seem entirely altruistic here. Don’t blindly trust this man, think about what could be in this for him.” She reached over to pat his hand. “That’s all I’m going to say on the subject. It’s up to you to do what you will with that. You’re such a smart boy, and you deserve good things in life.”

 

He turned his hand over to grasp hers, “Thanks mom, and as much as I hate saying it, you’re probably right.” He took a deep breath and huffed it back out. “Anything you can say to prepare me for today?”

 

The gentle smile on her face grew to the point where she was beaming at him, happy that he was asking her advice. “Try not to be overwhelmed. There’s a lot of technical jargon, and it can sound very scary. Keep in mind that Rey is doing everything she should be to grow a healthy baby, and everyone is working together to make sure it comes into this world as happy and healthy as possible.”

 

He nodded at her, not quite understanding her meaning, but appreciating it none-the-less. From there they discussed his time with Poe the day before while he helped clean up after breakfast.

 

He tried to keep himself busy, but as the minutes ticked by, he got more and more anxious. He decided to head out early so that he wasn’t late, and wound up spending well over twenty minutes sitting outside of Rey’s apartment willing time to move faster. He texted her shortly before ten to let her know that he was there, she immediately exited her apartment and walked towards his car, almost as if she’d been as anxiously waiting as he’d been.

 

She slid into the passenger seat, a small smile on her face as she bid him good morning. He smiled back at her, only slightly strained. 

 

“How are you doing?” He asked her, glancing her way as she buckled herself in.

 

“Not too bad, sleeping is a little rough these days, it’s difficult to get comfortable, but otherwise, all is well,” she looked over at him as he returned his focus to the road, taking the opportunity to examine him. He looked ok, not like he was wasting away, or suffering from lack of sleep, she’d take that as a good sign. “How about you?”

 

He kept his intense focus on the road, “Not bad either.”

 

An awkward silence took over the car as they both were unsure how to continue. Obviously, they’d save the heavier conversations for later. But neither one was sure what thread of conversation wouldn’t lead to the deeper things, so they both stayed silent. As they neared the clinic, Rey started to give him directions, somewhat breaking through the tension between them. Once they’d parked he rushed around the car to help her out, she accepted his assistance with a small smile and a thank you.

 

Upon entering the office, Rey walked over to the front desk to check in, while he followed awkwardly behind her. After signing in and having a brief chat with the woman behind the desk, they moved to take a seat in the waiting area. They sat in silence in the uncomfortable fake leather chairs, a few times Rey opened her mouth as if to say something, but immediately closed it again and sat back once more. Finally, a woman in pink scrubs came out from the door beside the front desk and called her name.

 

Together, they stood and followed the woman to an exam room, Rey seemed to be familiar with her, calling her by name - which was apparently Jessika - and asking about her boyfriend as they walked.Upon entering the room, Jessika turned to him. 

 

“And who do we have here, Rey?” She asked with a smile.

 

“Um, well, this is Ben.” Rey stated rather bashfully.

 

“Oooh, Daddy! How exciting!” She moved to sit down in front of a machine while Rey situated herself on the table that sat in the center of the room.

 

He was shocked, this woman knew about him? What did she know? Was she judging him for just now coming to an appointment? His panic began to overwhelm him, and Rey seemed to notice, calling his attention to her and beckoning him over. He moved to her side, taking a seat, as she lay back on the table, pulling her shirt up to reveal her round belly before moving to do the same with the elastic waistband of her pants. 

 

“This is a special day indeed if Dad is here, so I’ll make sure to give you guys the complete tour, ok?” Jessika said in a perky voice. She had the machine all ready to go, she pulled a bottle from the little cage at the bottom of the machine she turned to Rey. “You know the drill, prepare yourself.” Rey took a deep breath in anticipation, letting it out in a hiss as Jessika squirted the cold jelly onto her stomach. 

 

“Never get used to that,” Rey said with a laugh as Jessika began to move the wand over Rey’s midsection. An image appeared on the screen, and at first it was difficult to make anything out, but soon, Ben was gasping as he saw the outline of his child. 

 

Standing and reaching for Rey’s hand, he glanced over to find her watching him intently. “That’s our baby,” he said in awe. 

 

“Yeah, it is.” She smiled softly at him.

 

He turned back to the screen as Jessika began to show them the different parts of their baby, all the while taking the appropriate measurements. He understood now what his dad meant about it not feeling real. He’d seen the pictures in the book she made, but this was different. This was real, and right in front of him.

 

“Are you ready for the piece de resistance?” Jessika asked with a smile.

 

Rey nodded and turned to Ben as Jessika moved to fiddle with something on the machine, “This is really something,” she said excitedly.

 

And then a noise filled the air, a fast paced, rhythmic whooshing sound. “Is that,” the words got caught in his throat, making him unable to complete his question as he looked to Rey.

 

“Uh huh, that’s the baby’s heartbeat.” She said quietly to him.

 

Tears filled his eyes and he squeezed her hand even harder, a smile lighting up his face as he stared into her eyes. He watched as her own tears formed, and they just smiled at each other as the sound echoed around them.

 

As they continued to stare at one another, Jessika finished up with all the measurements they needed. When she was done, she wiped Rey’s belly clean and advised that she’d be back with the doctor shortly. Rey re-adjusted her clothes before sitting up and informing him that she needed to go to the restroom.

 

“This child likes to dance on my bladder, I swear I pee every twenty mintues,” she joked as he helped her off the table and watched her waddle out of the room.

 

Alone in the exam room, he sat back in the chair next to the table Rey had just vacated and recalled the last half hour of his life. It all seemed so unreal. When he left for college, he did not see this in his future, but here he was. In a few short months, he’d have another human that he was responsible for. More than just keeping it alive, he’d have to ensure its emotional health, teach it things. His mother had warned him not to get overwhelmed, and now he understood why.

 

Rey returned to the exam room and took the seat next to him. She placed her hand on top of the one he had resting on his leg. “You doing ok?” she asked gently.

 

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “yeah, that was wild! That was our babies heartbeat. That was our baby!” He vaguely gestured with his other hand to the screen which had previously displayed said baby.

 

She nodded, smoothing her small hand over his much larger one in a calming gesture. “Yup, that’s little Solo.” Her smile could only be described as dreamy, and it was an expression he loved to see on her.

 

Before long, Jessika re-entered the room with an older woman. Rey shook hands with the woman before turning to introduce her to Ben.

 

“Dr. Kalonia, this is Ben, the baby’s father.” 

 

The older woman laughed as she shook his hand. “Ben Solo. You are quite a bit bigger than the last time I saw you.” She turned to Rey, “I’m not sure if you know this, but I delivered Ben as well.” Everyone in the room laughed, considering her previous words of how much bigger he was.

 

Rey blushed, “Well that makes sense why Leia sent me to you then,” she was still laughing a bit. “That makes us, like, legacy patients or something, doesn’t it?” 

 

Dr. Kalonia laughed again, “Sure does, think you’ve earned the second generation discount.” Laughter erupted once more, and even though Ben was following the conversation, he wasn’t very focused on it. He let out a slight laugh when the moment seemed appropriate, but kind of zoned out until conversation seemed to come back around to their baby.

 

“Ok, to business,” Dr. Kalonia said in a no-nonsense tone. Ben perked up. “So, everything is looking really good. Baby is still a bit small, within the thirty-fifth percentile, but that’s perfectly normal. Probably currently between three or four pounds. Just make sure you’re continuing to take care of yourself.” Rey nodded as she took all of this in, this all seemed routine. “Are you still taking all of the supplements I mentioned before?”

 

“Sure am,” Rey replied, nodding at everything the woman was saying. Ben’s head turned back and forth, gauging Rey’s reactions to the things the doctor was saying.

 

“Good, I am still concerned about how your malnutrition growing up could affect both you and the baby, so keep those up.” Ben looked concerned at this statement, and leaned forward, opening his mouth as if to say something before snapping it shut and keeping quiet. Doctor Kalonia noticed this movement and turned to him, “Do you have a question, Ben?”

 

He sat back, uncomfortable with the attention. “Well, I just, what you just said… is that something to be concerned about? What could happen?” Rey reached her hand over to grab his hand once more, hoping to reassure him. 

 

“Well, the long and short of it is that whatever Rey eats, the baby eats too. From conception, the baby has used the nutrients in Rey’s body to grow. If she doesn’t have enough of those nutrients, it could lead to low birth weight and health issues for your child’s entire life, and for Rey it can cause many nutrient deficiencies - which can affect the organs and skeletal structure of both Rey and the baby and potentially lead to a higher mortality rate.” She noticed the panic that came over the young man’s face and rushed to alleviate his concerns. “I wouldn’t worry too much about this, as so far Rey’s weight gain, and the baby’s measurements, have been pretty much on target. Rey doesn’t seem to be having any issues with anemia or the usual warning signs that we look for in these instances. But because of this we have been monitoring them both a bit more closely than we usually would.”

 

Ben heaved a deep breath and released Rey’s hand, which he realized he had clenched into a death grip while the doctor explained the risks to Rey’s pregnancy. Stretching his cramped fingers out he nodded to the doctor, “That’s a relief,” he said, sounding as if he meant it.

 

Doctor Kalonia nodded, “Do you two have any more questions?” When both shook their heads at her, she stood and reached over to shake both of their hands, “In that case, I’ll see you in about two weeks for your next check up! Have a great rest of your day!” She smiled cheerfully and left the room.

 

With the appointment concluded, Jessika walked them out to the front of the office and left them to set a follow up appointment in two weeks. Once they had that business concluded, they exited the building, discussing lunch options as they walk to Ben’s car.

 

“We should get a pizza,” Rey said excitedly.

 

“Shouldn’t you eat a salad or something? That nutrient thing seems pretty important.” Ben was apprehensive, his mind spinning with thoughts of empty calories and pizza ingredients that would benefit her. He stopped in his tracks as she started laughing at him. “I don’t see what’s so funny, Rey.”

 

She was doubled over, trying to catch her breath so she could respond to him. “Oh Ben, it’s fine, you heard Dr. Kalonia in there. We’re both on target. I take my supplements as instructed and eat well, eating pizza once in awhile isn’t going to lead to some kind of terrible defect or illness in either baby or I.”

 

He resumed walking, grumbling to himself the rest of the way to the car as Rey’s giggles echoed off the vehicles around them.

 

Once in the car, Rey pulled out her cell phone and started typing away. “Let’s head back to my place. I’ll place the pizza order while you drive so it should arrive shortly after we do. What kind of pizza would you like?”

 

He glanced over at her after backing out of the parking spot, “I’m good with anything. But maybe order a side salad to go along with it, just in case?” Her laughter started fresh, and blushing, he shifted gears and began to head back to Rey’s place.

 

“Ok, ok, side salads for all three of us,” she smiled cheekily at him. “This is a good idea, at least at my place we have some privacy for our discussion.” Her smile fell a little, making her look more uncertain than he’d seen her in awhile.

 

“You’re right,” he threw a smile at her, hoping to alleviate some of the tension she was obviously carrying in her shoulders now. She finished placing the order on her phone, setting it down in her lap before turning to stare out the window. Neither one seemed to want to be the one to start the conversation they both desperately knew they needed to have.

 

He drove cautiously the whole way to her apartment, a new found concern for her safety and that of their unborn child. It’s not that he hadn’t been concerned before, but much like his dad had said the night before, it didn’t really seem real until the moment he’d seen it with his own eyes, heard it with his own ears. The baby seemed to go from an abstract thought to a very real presence between them.

 

Pulling into a parking spot, he raced around to the other side of the car to help her out, walking beside her into the apartment after she’d unlocked the door. She excused herself to go to the restroom once more, clearly this was a normal pregnancy thing according to her. While she was away, he took the time to wander the small living space, noting that nothing had changed since he’d last been there. That felt odd, since he felt like a completely different person now, even though it had been less than a year since he was here. Pictures of the two of them still hung on the walls, and he really couldn’t grasp why she’d left them there after what he did to her.

 

Lost in thought, he didn’t hear her sneak up behind him until she spoke, her voice coming from just over his right shoulder. “That was the best camping trip we ever took,” her eyes were sparkling at the memory as he glanced over at her. 

 

“Yeah, It was pretty fun, except for falling into the river and having to spend the rest of the weekend in soggy shoes.” He laughed, remembering how he’d complained the whole time about cold feet. “Can I ask you something?”

 

She seemed apprehensive at his tone of voice. “Of course,” she turned away from him, hiding her face, as she went to sit on the couch.

 

“I just, I’m having trouble understanding.” He turned to look at her, placing his hands in his pockets to avoid fidgeting.

 

“Understanding what?”

 

“Everything is still the same here. The photos of us, no one’s yelled at me, accusing me of ruining your life, or threatening me because of the break up. Why?”

 

She shrugged, eyes fixed on the floor. “It’s not anyone’s business.”

 

“So you just suffered alone? Why would you do that to yourself?” He moved closer to her, lowering himself onto the other end of the couch from her.

 

Again she shrugged. “Like I said, it’s not anyone’s business. Besides, why would I willingly slander the name of the father of my child? Who would benefit from that? Not me, definitely not my child.”

 

A knock at the door broke the heavy tension that had filled the room. He went and answered it, pulling out his wallet to pay, but the delivery boy waved him off saying it was taken care of. Ben’s face scrunched in irritation as he put his wallet back in his pocket before grabbing the boxes from the man’s hand and closed the door on him.

 

Walking into the kitchen, he placed the food on the counter before reaching into the cabinet next to the sink for a couple of plates. Piling food onto each one he brought both back over to where Rey was still seated on the couch.

 

“You paid for the pizza. I was going to do that.”

 

She shrugged, “My credit card is on file on the website, seemed easiest.”

 

“Rey, you don’t need to be spending money like that, you’re going to have mouths to feed soon,” he chastised, causing her to laugh at him. “Anyways, what do you want to drink?” He began to head back to the kitchen. 

 

“Milk, please. And I’ll pay for whatever the heck I want, Dad.” Her tone was sarcastic, but her calling him dad like that caused something to flutter in his stomach. Looking in the fridge, he pulled out the milk and poured them each a generous amount. 

 

Returning to her side and handing her a glass, he sat down and reached for his own plate of food. “I’m just trying to take care of you, ok?”

 

“Didn’t ask you to.” She said, taking a sip of her drink before sighing and looking at him, “But I appreciate it none-the-less.”

 

He nodded, both of them sitting for a few moments in the quiet tension, searching for what to say next. Coughing, he decided on the best place to start. “So, my dad tells me they’ve asked you to move in with them?”

 

“Yeah, he mentioned it,” she placed her slice of pizza back on the plate before wiping her fingers on a napkin and looking up at him. “I really wasn’t comfortable even contemplating it until you were aware of the situation.”

 

“And now?” He asked, not removing his eyes from her, “What are your thoughts now that I know?”

 

“I don’t really know. I still wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable when you come home for breaks and your ex-girlfriend is there.” She averted her eyes back to her food, not wanting him to see her lingering pain.

 

“Rey,” Ben set his plate aside, reaching over to do the same with hers. “I regretted breaking up with you as soon as I sent that message, I just didn’t know how to fix it. I spent the last several months working out what I was going to say to you to try to fix things when I saw you again.”

 

She looked up into his eyes, shocked.

 

“I want to be a part of this family, Rey, not just as this child’s father, but as your man. I want to be with you, Rey, if you will have me.” His hands were gripping hers tightly. 

 

Tears welled in her eyes while her bottom lip trembled. She closed her eyes to prevent any moisture from falling and took a deep breath in. “I want nothing more than that, Ben,” she breathed out, opening her eyes and staring into his. “But what about school?”

 

“I don’t want to go back,” he rushed to tell her. He felt her tense up at his declaration. 

 

“You have to, Ben! You can’t throw away this opportunity! It’s all you’ve ever wanted.” She pulled her hands out of his and stood up, beginning to pace, she was near desperate saying all of this.

 

“Is it, Rey?” He asked, standing and placing himself in her path, halting her movement. “I’m not so sure anymore. Am I doing this for me? Or for my family’s approval?”

 

“Ben, it’s what you’ve talked about since I met you. It’s what you worked so hard for in high school. Of course it’s what you want!” The tears finally broke their barrier and began to track down her face.

 

“But it wasn’t always what I wanted. I wanted to be like my Dad. I wanted to work on cars, and race them. The financial freedom of being a lawyer is promising. But what kind of life is that?” He reached up to wipe her face. “Years of school, long hours, stress, I don’t want our child to suffer the same neglect that I did.”

 

Anger flashed across her face, “I would never let my child feel neglected!”

 

“No, no, no. Not you. But me. After everything I experienced, I couldn’t stand doing that to my child.”

 

“I won’t let you give up everything you’ve worked so hard for, Ben. I just won’t. You need to go back to school.” 

 

“I feel like you’re not listening to me, Rey! I don’t want to! I need to be here for this baby.” He turned away in frustration, pulling at his hair.

 

“I’m hearing you, but I really can’t help but think that you’re just saying all of this because you feel like it’s your responsibility,” she pressed.

 

“I’m saying this because it’s what I want! I want to be here with you and our child! I don’t give a shit about that school or anything I could possibly learn there!” He shouted at her, throwing his arms up. “How is any of this supposed to work if you won’t even trust me to know what I want to do?” He finished much quieter, his own tears beginning to gather.

 

Her heart broke seeing the first of his tears tracking down his face. “I do trust you, Ben. I just don’t want you to regret this.”

 

“I read the warning label, Rey. Your letter covered all of that. If I thought for one second that I would regret the decision to stay with you, I wouldn’t be here right now, but I’m here. I’m all in.” His arms were thrown out at his sides, and his voice cracked a bit at the end. 

 

“It’s been less than a week. You’re just starting to digest this information. Even I had moments of insecurity at the beginning, I just don’t think you can truly be 100% sure about this right now.” She tried not to sound accusing, but she just wasn’t convinced that he could possibly be comfortable with this decision.

“What’s it going to take, huh? What do I have to do to prove to you what I already know in my heart is the right choice? You want me to go back to school?” 

 

He stared her down as she shifted uncomfortably at his questions, because the truth was, she didn’t know what he could do that would make her believe he actually wanted this. She wanted so much to have the picture perfect family with him, but the hormones making her extra emotional lately seemed to constantly remind her that her life had never worked out like that.

 

“I’ll make you a deal. I’m going to go back, finish up the semester. Once it’s over, I’m coming back here, I’ll be back before the baby even gets here. And then, I’m going to take the credits I’ve earned so far and transfer them to Chandrila University. I won’t make any massive changes in my course of study yet, just where I study at. Once all of my gen ed classes are out of the way, you and I will decide what direction I take from there. Can you agree to those terms?” He grabbed her hands and led her back over to the couch. 

 

She pulled one of her hands from his, wiping at her face with the back of it. “Yeah, I suppose that sounds like a good idea,” she said contemplatively, nodding her head.

 

“Good, then that’s what we’ll do.” He leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling her with him to rest on his chest. She rested stiffly against him before slowly releasing the tension within her body and snuggling up to him comfortably. “I truly am sorry for everything I said to you. I promise to never let anything come between us again,” he said quietly into the side of her head, one hand resting on her back while the other ran soothingly through her hair.

 

She pulled up and away from him just enough to turn her head and look into his eyes. “I forgive you. I was always going to forgive you. I hope you know that.” 

 

He nodded, moving the hand in her hair to caress her cheek. Slowly, she leaned in closer to him, her face mere millimeters from his. He closed the distance between them, their lips meeting for the first time in months. It was like coming up for air, finally taking that first gulp of oxygen after drowning. He felt renewed by it, the months of sleep deprivation and stress rolled away and all that was left was her. His hand drifted down to rest against the side of her stomach. Her and their child. His family.

 


	17. The Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's got some more decisions to make, and Ben's heading back to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A traumatic incident occurs at the end of this chapter, it isn't graffic, but may trigger some. Check updated tags, and if it's something that is a problem, stop reading after Ben's meeting with Snoke, marked by ~~~. 
> 
> More details in end notes.

[ ](https://imgur.com/pLCN2SC)

 

Ben was very nearly frenzied over the next few days, knowing that Sunday he’d have to return to school and leave his very pregnant girlfriend behind once more was killing him. He refused to leave her side for the time he had left with her. 

 

The day following her appointment and their reconciliation he drug her to dinner at his parents house, so that they could all gang up on her and coerce an agreement to move in with them. He knew that her lease was coming to an end soon, and he really wanted her to have people around should anything happen to either her or the baby. 

 

The final nail to seal the deal had been after dinner, when Han led them all up the stairs to the room they had been working on earlier that week. A giant bow had been affixed to the door, and both his parents gestured to them both to open the door and enter together. 

 

Ben had no idea how his father had done it. Not two days before he’d been helping the man sand down the slats for the crib and now, here before them was a completed nursery. The furniture was all a matching light colored wood, clearly hand made. Small accents around the room, clearly a contribution from his mother, rounded out the room - giving it a calming, earthy feeling, like a summer garden. 

 

Upon taking it all in, Rey promptly burst into tears. Shaking and sobbing happily, she finally agreed to move in once her lease was up. Ben would have preferred she moved in right away, but understood that they still had a few months before they needed to worry about the baby coming. 

 

They spent that Saturday beginning to pack up Rey’s apartment of the things she wouldn’t need in the weeks to come. She really didn’t have much, but picture frames and the few decorative items around the place were packed away gently and taken over to his parent’s place. 

 

He discussed with both her and his mother about changing his room however she desired, wanting her to feel as comfortable as possible in her new home. He didn’t care what his room looked like when he finally returned for good, just that he’d be sharing the space with her, and their child would be just across the hall. 

 

Sunday morning his family drove him once more to the airport. His parents took turns hugging him goodbye just outside security before stating that his father needed to go to the restroom urgently, both of them scurrying away and leaving Ben and Rey laughing at their very indiscreet attempt at giving them some privacy. 

 

Once the two were out of sight, Ben turned to Rey, pulling her into a gentle kiss, one hand at her waist and the other in her hair. Pulling away he sweetly swept his thumb across her cheek, her eyes staring longingly into his. 

 

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he told her softly. 

 

She smiled up at him, “We’re going to miss you, too.” She glanced down at her stomach, leading him to look down as well before placing both hands there and getting down on his knees to address their child directly. 

 

“You be good for mommy, little one. Stay put in there until I get back, you still have some growing to do, you hear me?” He moved to kiss the area he’d just been speaking to when a swift nudge brushed against his mouth, as if the child had been acknowledging his words. Gasping, he looked up at her, tears shining in her eyes as she looked surprised as well. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughed as he rose from the floor once more and pulled her in for another kiss. 

 

“Study hard,” she told him as they pulled away once more. “We’ll be here waiting for you to come home.”

 

They said their final goodbyes and he made his way through the security checkpoint, turning and waving a final time before disappearing into the terminal. He saw Rey waving after him as his parents returned to her side and waved as well. He laughed once more knowing that they’d likely been watching their goodbye from just around the corner, the brand of illusionary privacy his parents were pros at. 

 

When he finally sat comfortably in his seat on the plane, he took out his phone to shoot Rey a quick message before setting it in airplane mode for the duration of his trip. Upon glancing at the screen he noticed a message from his mother, and tapping on the notification, his phone opened up to a picture of him kneeling in front of Rey, mouth pressed sweetly against her stomach. Eyes a bit misty, he typed a sincere thank you to his mother before moving over to his text feed with Rey and reiterating his love for her once more before readying his phone for the flight. 

 

If he just happened to stare at the picture his mother sent for the entirety of his flight, then who could really blame him? Even if it meant having to stop and recharge his phone in the Boston airport before being able to get an Uber back to campus. 

 

~~~

 

The next morning had Ben back to the grindstone, packing up and heading out for his eight AM class bright and early. He arrived about fifteen minutes before it was set to start so that he would be able to get everything he needed set up before the professor showed up and started the lesson. Once settled, he opened his laptop and began to glance through his backlog of emails.

 

One of the more recent emails caught his eye, sent at 11 PM the night before from  [ Alistair_Snoke@advising.harvard.edu ](mailto:Alistair_Snoke@advising.harvard.edu) . Curious and annoyed, Ben opened and read the brief missive requesting an appointment with him later that morning. Sighing, he responded in the affirmative, agreeing to meet with the man as soon as his current class let out. He really had no desire to see the man, but knew that he didn’t have much of a choice. He spent the rest of class restless, his brain cycling through many different conversation outcomes with Snoke, and just wanting to get the meeting over with and fighting down his body’s attempt at a panic attack at the mere idea of having to be in the same room as him.

 

As soon as class was dismissed, Ben was packing up his untouched books and out the door. It took massive amounts of control to maintain a slow, steady pace to the Advising offices, trying to match his breaths to his pace despite his pounding heart. All he knew was that he had to keep his cool, he couldn’t let Snoke know about his plans to leave at the end of the semester - or about Rey. Realistically, he knew the old man couldn’t actually retaliate against him in any way, but his nervous brain still concocted many ways that he could ruin his life.

 

Taking a final deep breath, he knocked on the familiar heavy wood door. Entering once beckoned, he sat in his usual seat. Snoke looked up from his computer with a large, gnarly smile on his weathered face.

 

“Ben, my boy, welcome back. I trust that you enjoyed your time back home?” The tone of Snoke’s voice was entirely too sweet - given how their last meeting had ended before he left.

 

“Thank you,” Ben said stiffly. “It was nice to see my parents for a bit,” and then realizing he should probably keep up appearances, he added, “I’m eager to get back to my studies,  though.”

 

Snoke’s slimy smile appeared to tighten. “I’m very pleased to hear that.” Standing, the man buttoned the top button of his suit jacket, looking down at Ben, he swallowed audibly before continuing. “Our last conversation did not end well. It sat heavy on my mind all week.”

 

This caught Ben off guard, was Snoke actually apologizing? “Yes, I’ve thought a bit about it since then as well,” Ben admitted softly.

 

“Well, now that you’ve had a chance to have a bit of a break, I trust you’re ready to jump back into work with both feet?”

 

Ben’s face fell a little,  _ so no apology then _ , he thought before he schooled it once more, not wanting to give anything away to this crone. “Absolutely, sir.”

 

“That’s what I like to hear, son.” He moved around his desk to pat Ben’s shoulder, causing a shiver to run up his spine at the contact. “Now, about what we’d discussed before you left. I think, with the right study schedule through the summer, we can get you tested out of all of the english and math prerequisites, and possibly even a few of the sciences. It’s going to take a herculean effort from you, though.” He leaned against the desk just to the side of where Ben currently sat, causing Ben to cringe at the nearness. The smell of stale coffee and some sort of spicy aftershave that the man carried was causing his stomach to turn, leaving him breathing through his mouth and praying for this meeting to end.

 

“Absolutely, sir.” He worked valiantly to keep his disdain to himself. 

 

“Just what I like to hear.” Snoke patted his shoulder once more before moving back around to the other side of his desk. “I’ll be in contact soon with a list of helpful resource materials for you, then. Good day.” He dismissed Ben with a nod towards his door.

 

Ben calmly rose and made his way to the door when Snoke’s voice stopped him once more. “Do try not to disappoint me this time.” 

 

Exiting the stifling office, he moved quickly out of sight of the room before leaning against the nearest wall and taking a few deep, calming breaths. 

 

At the beginning of that meeting, he’d been thinking that perhaps his mother had been wrong about Snoke and his intentions in helping Ben. But the man’s true colors soon shone through once more. He decided that, while finishing the semester was his most important objective, he would need to put a little effort into figuring out Snoke’s motivations. Something was truly not feeling right here, now that the blinders had been removed from his eyes he could see there was something sinister underneath the man’s very shoddy veneer.

 

It was time to do some digging into the background of Alistair Snoke.

 

~~~

 

Time moved slowly for Rey after Ben left once again for school. Work moved by much slower when you were stuck in an office and not getting dirty in the guts of an engine, trying to solve the mystery of what’s wrong with a vehicle. On top of that, she was beginning to move much slower herself, she was tired all the time, and the extra weight of the baby made everything hurt. She was not looking forward to having to climb the stairs constantly once she finally moved into the Solo’s house, she was sure her already aching knees would officially quit on her.

 

As the middle of April drew nearer, she still had a little over a week to go before the move would be complete and she’d no longer be alone all the time. She didn’t mind being alone, she’d grown used to it over the years, but with Ben being away the feeling seemed to weigh heavily on her heart. She was getting kind of excited about this new change.

 

The work day was drawing to a close, and Rey was looking forward to finally getting home and into a warm bath to help ease some of her aching joints. She’d just needed to finish a few invoices, but now she was home free. Everyone else had gone home already, except for Chewy, who was in the shop doing some kind of modification on his vehicle. Ducking her head into the garage she called out to him, wishing him good night before heading out and locking the door behind her. She wanted to make sure he’d be safe in there all alone.

 

Pulling out onto the main street, she began to think about dinner options, ideas flitting through her head between imagining just how nice the bath would feel. She had  become somewhat complacent taking the same route home everyday, she knew each landmark by heart, and her brain could ignore the surroundings, because it already knew what to expect. Two more lights, and then a left turn, a right at the library, three blocks and then a left into her apartment complex. Muscle memory had taken over. Maybe that’s the reason why she didn’t see the other car hurtling towards hers at a breakneck speed.

 

Initially, all she felt was the disorientation of being out of control, circling into oblivion and then pain blossoming against the side of her head. She tried to get a look at the vehicle that had hit her, but her vision was blurry and fading fast. She could feel a throbbing in her head, and a tickle down the side of her face. A humming rang in her ears, seeming to grow louder as her vision completely blacked out, and then she was plunged into complete nothingness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning: Rey's vehicle is struck while she's driving home. It's not graphic, nor is it particularly dangerous. She loses conciousness, there's a vague mention of a little bit of blood, but she is overall unhurt, as is the baby.*
> 
> Thank you so much to my incredible Beta [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife)! Thank you for helping me with this chapter, my partner in evil! You are the freaking best!


	18. The Accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help arrives and Ben rushes to Rey's side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief mention of the car wreckage, and Rey mild injuries mentioned at the beginning of this chapter. If this makes you squeamish, you can skip to Ben's POV after the first set of ~~~.
> 
> A special thank you to [Monsterleadmehome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsterleadmehome) for the gorgeous mood board she made for this chapter!

[ ](https://imgur.com/VkK6OJd)

 

“I can’t find it anywhere!” Leia’s frustrated voice rang through the house. She stomped into the family room, where Han had just cracked open a beer and was leaning back into his recliner, remote in hand. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be helping me find my purse!” She threw a pillow at his head before turning and stomping off again.

 

“That thing is the size of a damn suitcase, and weighs like forty pounds. How the hell do you lose something like that?” He placed his beer on the end table beside his chair before roughly pulling himself up from his chair and moving around the room to try and locate his wife’s missing purse. “I don’t think it’s here, Princess.”

 

“I must have left it at the shop this afternoon when I was chatting with Rey. We have to go pick it up.” She tossed one of his shoes in his direction, and he barely caught it with two fingers, before leaving the room once more, presumably to get her own shoes. Shaking his head at her antics, he moved to slip his foot into it before going in search of his other shoe. 

 

“You can’t go on your own?” He asked, already knowing her answer, but wanting to test her regardless.

 

“With what driver’s license and keys?” She was standing at the garage door waiting for him to join her.

 

“Obviously, you could take my keys, just don’t get pulled over and you’ll be fine!” He smiled cheekily at her, earning a look of disdain in exchange.

 

“That’s not a risk I’m willing to take, now get in the car and let’s go.” She huffed, entering the garage and climbing into the passenger seat of his car.

 

He laughed following behind her. “Of course, Your Worshipfulness.”

 

Conversation was jovial as they made their way back to the shop, throwing barbs back and forth at each other about old age and forgetfulness. A few blocks from the shop they noticed the flashing emergency lights and slowed down for safety.

 

“Wonder what happened here?” Han asked, glancing around with caution to make sure he didn’t hit any of the emergency workers moving around the accident.

 

“Stop the car!” Leia’s voice was loud and trembling.

 

“What? Why?” Though he was already rolling to a stop as the words left his mouth. 

 

She’d thrown off her seatbelt and jumped out of the car before it had even come to a complete stop, running into the thick of the activity. Parking the car, he chased after her, shouting her name, but she was already approaching the ambulance, several officers trying to force her back away from the scene. 

 

“Ma’am, you can’t be here,” one officer was reaching out to grab her arm.

 

“That is my daughter in law and grandbaby,” she gestured to a stretcher about to be loaded into the ambulance. “You will take your hand off of me and let me get into that ambulance with her - or I will have your badge by morning!” She was nearly hysterical, shouting this as Han approached the small group gathered around his wife. 

 

His brain slowly caught up with the scene before him, as he finally took notice of the mangled vehicle that had just missed wrapping itself around the light pole. A sob burst through his throat as he turned to try and locate Rey, noticing the stretcher with her unconscious form finally being lifted into the emergency vehicle. Leia grabbed his hand to get his attention.

 

Looking him in the eye she stated much more calmly. “Are you going to be ok to drive? I’m going to ride to the hospital with her. Meet us over there, ok?” He shook his head in the affirmative. “Ok, and if you can, try to get ahold of Ben. He needs to know. I’ll try to get you as much information as I can as quickly as I can.” Han nodded once more and watched as his wife climbed into the ambulance after Rey, the doors closing behind her as the vehicle sped off towards the nearest hospital.

 

An officer placed a hand on his shoulder, asking if he was ok. He nodded before making his way back to their car, following the ambulance. Once in the car, he used the bluetooth to attempt to reach Ben. The phone rang through to voicemail, so he hung up and tried again. After several failed attempts, he left a message telling Ben that he needed to speak to him urgently and to call him back as soon as he got the message, no matter what.

 

Pulling into the hospital parking lot, he entered through the ER entrance and asked the lady at the front desk if there was any news about Rey. He was advised to take a seat and someone would be out to speak with him as soon as they knew something. 

 

Lowering himself into an uncomfortable plastic seat, he huffed a sigh, settling in for someone to get back to him with some kind of news.

 

~~~

 

Ben was sitting in the library with his study group, already starting to cram before finals - which seemed to be creeping up a lot quicker than he expected. His phone ringing from inside his pocket startled everyone at the table. Apologizing profusely, he pulled the offending item from his pocket and looked at the unfamiliar number before ignoring the call and silencing the device, placing it on the table in front of him. 

 

Whoever had called did not leave a message, so it must not have been important. However, a few minutes later the screen lit up once more with the same number. He ignored the call once more. When it called through once more, he’d had enough. Ignoring the call, he then moved to block the number, and just to put the distraction out of his mind he turned it off and returned to the discussion on notes taken during class.

 

At the end of the hour, everyone began packing up their belongings. Ben grabbed his phone, turning it back on, it immediately lit up with several notifications. The calls from his father were disturbing enough, but it was the caller ID of the second set of calls that truly scared the shit out of him. 

 

Five missed calls from Chandrila General Hospital.

 

Grabbing his things, he raced out of the library, listening to the voicemail from his dad as he went. He was already dialing him back when he threw the library doors open and attempted to get his racing heart under control.

 

“Ben!” His father’s urgent voice greeted him after the second ring.

 

“Dad! What’s going on? Why do I have missed calls from the hospital?”

 

“Son, there’s been an accident. I was really hoping I’d have more information when you finally called back, but I’m still waiting.” His father’s tremulous voice did not help to calm him.

 

“What happened, Dad? Is Rey ok? Mom?” His father’s lack of information was stressing him out.

 

“Your mother is fine, she’s with Rey right now. There was a car accident. We don’t have any details.”

 

“Rey and the baby, they’re ok though, right?” Ben was starting to panic.

 

“I, I don’t know, son. I’m so sorry.” His father’s voice choked up.

 

“I’m on the next plane out of here, Dad. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up before his father could respond. Glancing around, trying to formulate a plan through his panic, he noticed his roommate exiting the library, and he ran up to him, calling out his name.

 

“Hux! I need your help!”

 

The redhead looked at him like he was crazy. “What can I possibly help you with, Solo?”

 

“There’s been an accident back home, and I need to get to the airport ASAP. Please tell me you have your car here and can give me a ride.” They’d never been all that close, sharing quarters with a person puts a spotlight on all of their annoying little flaws, but he was really hoping that there was a heart somewhere in his frigid body.

 

“You do realize that I have an eight AM class tomorrow?” Hux sneered at him.

 

“And I definitely would not be asking if it wasn’t an absolute emergency. Look, I’ll give you anything you want, just please.” He’d never be sure if it was the promise of a favor, or the crack in his voice that moved Hux into giving him a ride, but in the end, he got to the airport and that’s all that mattered. 

 

While Hux drove, he found the soonest flight back to Chandrila he could get on and booked it. He texted his father, letting him know the plan, begging for some more info, but unfortunately, he still had none.

 

The universe seemed to be working in his favor for once, as he made it through security and to the gate just in time for boarding to begin. In a world where air travel never seemed to move on time, for the first time ever it did. Before taking off, he was able to schedule an Uber in advance to pick him up at the airport shortly after he was meant to land. Texting his father one last time to check for any new info, he told him he’d be there soon and turned the phone to airplane mode for the duration of the flight.

 

He hadn’t had time to gather anything from his dorm, so the only thing he had on him was his backpack and study materials he’d been going over at the library. He logged into the airline’s wifi and sent emails to all of his professors, explaining the emergency and that he’d be out of class for the foreseeable future, but would let them know more information as it became available. Once that was taken care of he had nothing left to do but to wait. 

 

His mind was too frantic to attempt to study more, and there was no way he’d be able to sleep, so he spent the duration of the flight tapping his foot anxiously, much to the annoyance of the passengers around him. 

 

He was one of the first out of his seat when the flight landed, immediately taking out his phone and turning it off of airplane mode. He raced to the doors of the plane as soon as permission was granted, apologizing to the people he cut off and briefly explaining there was an emergency. There were a few messages from his father, but he didn’t have time to look while he raced to meet his Uber. He decided to call him instead.

 

His father answered quickly, “Ben? Did you land?”

 

“Yeah, Dad, I’m here, heading to catch my Uber right now. I’ll be there in probably thirty minutes. What’s going on? Do we know anything yet?” His voice was desperate.

 

“Yes, everything is ok. They’re keeping Rey overnight to monitor her and the baby, but otherwise, it’s all superficial. She got so lucky, Ben.”

 

Ben heaved a sigh of relief, “Thank God! Oh shit, that’s such a relief.” He could feel the physical weight of his concern abate just a bit, knowing it wouldn’t fully disperse until he got to see her in person. “Ok, well, I’m getting into my car, I’ll see you soon.”

 

He hung up before opening his Uber app to see what kind of car he needed to be looking for. He located the silver sedan and hopped into the back seat, greeting the driver, and confirmed his destination.

 

“I’m going to guess by the look on your face, we’re not headed to the hospital for a happy reason.” The driver, a younger asian looking girl, asked him.

 

“Definitely not.” He was short with her, and he felt bad, but he just needed to get to his girl and make sure everything was ok.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that, Ben.”

 

He was surprised that she called him by his name, but realised his app profile had that information.

 

“Is everyone ok?” Her tone was strange when she asked this question. It wasn’t the usual polite, casual tone of someone driving around a stranger. She seemed invested.

 

“Um, it sounds like it.” He was looking at her curiously.

 

“Well, that’s a relief.” She truly did sound relieved. Ben’s curiosity got the best of him.

 

“Do I know you?”

 

“No, but I know your girlfriend and family.” She smiled over her shoulder at him.

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah, I met Rey last November. We’ve been buddies ever since. She introduced me to your parents a few weeks ago, for Easter. My sister and I are orphans, too, so they invited us to dinner.” She explained kindly.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Rey mentioned a new friend, but I can't remember what she said your name was.” He looked sheepishly at her.

 

“I’m Rose,” she contorted her arm to reach into the back seat and shake his hand while keeping the other one on the wheel. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

 

“Nice to meet you, too.” He shook her hand, briefly wondering what she knew about him and if she secretly hated him for causing Rey so much pain previously.

 

“Um, well, given your relationship with Rey and everything, you should probably know she’s been in an accident. It sounds like everything is ok, just some superficial injuries, but they’re keeping her for observations.” He’d moved to the edge of the back seat so he could talk to her more easily and see her face better.

 

“Oh shit!” Rose said, glancing over at him, shocked. “I’m glad to hear she’s ok, but that’s freaking scary. And the baby is ok?”

 

He’d purposely left out mention of the baby, he wanted to gauge if she was who she said she was, and this appeared to confirm that. “Yeah, from what my dad told me, they’re both ok. You can probably come in and see for yourself, if you like?” He decided he liked this girl, she made his girl happy, and that made him happy.

 

“Thanks, I really appreciate that, but I should probably keep driving if I want to be able to pay rent this month. Besides, she’s only going to have eyes for you the moment she sees you. Just have her text me when she’s feeling up to it. If you don’t mind?”

 

“Absolutely.” Ben smiled at her.

 

They pulled up to the hospital entrance a few moments later. He thanked her profusely before exiting the vehicle and calling his father. Once he confirmed where he needed to go, he entered the hospital, signing in at the nurse’s station before heading in the direction of Rey’s room. 

 

His heart was pounding as he moved quickly through the hospital, both anxious to see her and worried about the state she’d be in when he arrived. He slowed down near the waiting room, seeing his parents talking quietly. 

 

Walking up to them, they both turned to look at him, moving quickly to envelope him in a hug. He felt small, for the first time in years, being surrounded by the arms of his parents. It had clearly been a rough night for all of them. The extreme emotions had worn all of them out.

 

“I’m so glad you made it.” His mother’s quiet voice sounded muffled by his chest.

 

“Of course, I came as fast I could,” Ben’s arms wrapped around her, as his father's arms wrapped around them both.

 

“She’s ok, buddy. They’re both ok. You should probably go in and see her. I’m not sure if they’re going to kick us out or not.” His father’s voice was much closer to his own head. 

 

Nodding, he squeezed his mother once more before pulling away from them both and moving off down the hall. Once he’d located the right room, he knocked lightly before quietly stepping in.

 

She was awake, as far as he could tell, and didn’t look too bad. A few cuts marred her face, and a larger bandage was placed near her temple. He took a few moments to take in the sight of her, noticing all of the machines she was hooked up to, wires wrapped around her arms and waist, beeps and whirs filling the air as each machine did its job.

 

She finally noticed his presence, eyes squinting slightly in concentration. “Ben? What are you doing here? You should be at school. Finals are coming up, and you need to be focusing on that.” Her body tensed as she spoke, the heartbeat displayed on one of the machines picked up as well. He needed to calm her down, and get her to focus on something else.

 

“What do you mean? You had to know I’d be here as soon as I heard what happened. I needed to come and see for myself that my girls are ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! It's a Girl!
> 
> I thought about making it be a boy, so that the color on all of my mood boards just throws everyone off, but I can only seem to find girl names I like.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed a little happy surprise at the end of all this drama!


	19. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the adrenaline wears off, Ben and Rey talk about the new baby revelation and Rey's accident.

[ ](https://imgur.com/dXs8Xz2)

 

“I’m fine, just some bumps. You really needn’t have bothered.” She winced in pain as she attempted to sit up a little straighter. “You should be focusing on your studies. I’ll be out of here in no time. Wait a minute. What did you say when you walked in here?” Her brain was moving a bit sluggish, but as it caught up with his words and she realized she was alone in the room, it finally registered.

 

“What? That I needed to check on my girls?” He was beside her now, and reached out to place a hand on her stomach as he said this.

 

A beautiful smile lit up her bruised face, “A girl? Really?”

 

He smiled back at her. “Yup. Least that’s what the paper in the envelope told me.” His other hand reached up to brush the hair from her face on the opposite side as her bandage, before leaning forward and gently kissing her. “God, I was so worried when dad called. I went so far as to promise Hux a favor just to get me to you faster.” He made a face at the mention of Hux, one that she mirrored, having heard all of his stories of his annoying roommate.

 

“You know I’m glad to see you. I just worry about the stress you must be under.” She rested her forehead softly against his.

 

“Don’t even think about that. I’ve got all level one classes this semester, you know I can ace those in my sleep. This is far more important.” He moved his mouth up to kiss her forehead. “How’s this feeling?”

 

“Honestly,” he could see her cringe, “I have the absolute worst throbbing headache, but with the little one, pretty much all they can give me for the pain is Tylenol.”

 

“Oh, babe, I’m so sorry. That must be excruciating.” 

 

“Just one of a million sacrifices for this kid, right?” She joked.

 

“Exactly, you can hold this one over her head for probably the next thirty years or so.” At this point, he noticed that he’d been rubbing her stomach soothingly as they spoke. He sat down on the sliver of bed beside her and continued the motion.

 

“And how’s this one doing? Staying firmly in place like I told her to?”

 

“Sure is. Even with tonight’s little scare, she seems quite content where she’s at, to be honest.” She placed her hand over his and looked into his eyes. “This machine here, and pretty much the main reason they’re keeping me, is tracking her right now. These censors are monitoring her heart and her movements. She’s finally settled down after that rush of adrenaline, I think she’s sleeping.”

 

He followed the wires to a machine beside the bed, where electronic spikes were assuring him that their girl was doing just fine. He turned his hand over to grasp hers, “I’m so glad you’re doing ok. I was out of my mind with worry earlier.”

 

“I’m so sorry. I know it was scary for you. Thank you for coming.” She leaned forward with some effort to place a gentle kiss on his plush lips.

 

A gentle knock on the door interrupted the moment, and they both turned to see his parents standing at the entrance of the room.

 

“We’re going to head out for the night. Did you want to come home with us, Ben?” His father asked, the look of exhaustion on his face seeming to deepen the thin lines that had begun to weather his image. 

 

“No, I think I’m gonna keep our girl company tonight. Make sure everything is ok. We’ll let you guys know when they finally plan on releasing her tomorrow.” Ben reassured his parents.

 

Leia spoke up, remembering an earlier conversation when the police arrived at the hospital from the scene, “The police are supposed to be coming by in the morning to get a statement. I’m not sure how much you remember about the vehicle that struck you. But do your best. I can make sure I’m here if you’d like, for support.”

 

“Is the other driver ok?” Rey asked. “I feel awful, I hadn’t even thought to ask until now.”

 

Leia looked uncomfortably at Han, who snorted in derision. “Wouldn’t know. Fucker hit you and took off.”

 

“HAN! Language!” Leia smacked his arm.

 

Rey felt Ben’s grasp on her hand tighten, and his jaw worked in anger. She reached out with her other hand to caress the back of his in a soothing manner.

 

“Well, now I don’t feel so bad about my lack of concern,” she attempted to joke, but it fell rather flat, crushed under the tension that had filled the room. Leia and Han smiled tightly, while Ben didn’t seem to register what she’d said at all. Shrugging uncomfortably, she addressed Ben’s parents once more, “Anyways, um yeah, if you wanted to come by when the police are supposed to be here, I certainly wouldn’t mind the extra support.”

 

His parents moved forward and kissed them both on the head before bidding them goodnight and heading out.

 

Ben sighed in an attempt to release the tension he’d been holding in, “I hadn’t realized. I hadn’t thought to ask. I was so focused on getting to you, that I didn’t even think about the person who did this. And they just drove off? Not even bothering to see if you were ok?” He stood up and began to pace. “I’m sure it sounds awful, but not having anyone to direct my anger at in this situation is even more maddening. I feel like if they’d stuck around, I could yell at them for their careless actions and then just be over it. But knowing that someone put you in danger, and didn’t even care to stop, God!” He stopped, gripping the back of the chair beside the bed tightly. 

 

A strong part of him was telling him to toss the chair across the room, a release for the emotions warring within him. But he had to keep it together, for her. For them. If he did that, they’d kick him out and probably wouldn’t let him back in.

 

Rey reached out with her hand, beckoning him back to her since she couldn’t move toward him. He huffed out a breath and moved around the chair to take her hand. “Ben, love, it’s going to be ok. Maybe the police will have something for us tomorrow. There are traffic cameras everywhere in this city, and it was still pretty early at night, there were other people on the road. Someone had to see something.” She soothingly caressed his hand, trying to calm him down.

 

“You’re right. We’re going to find who did this. No matter what.” He promised, looking into her eyes.

 

“Even if we don’t, it’ll be ok.” She assured him, though he was not entirely convinced. She smiled warmly at him, “Let’s talk about something else. Like, you’ve known you’re having a daughter for over a month now, have you thought of any names?”

 

He smiled brightly back at her, “I’ve been thinking about it, there’s one or two I like, but nothing has really stuck just yet. What about you? Almost eight months, you must have thought of something?”

 

“There are a few. What are your top three?”

 

“Hmm, let’s see, top three. In no particular order, Benjemina, Benicia and Benbellina.” He flashed her a goofy smile.

 

His joke had the desired effect, causing her to burst out in laughter before stopping and groaning. “Don’t make me laugh, it hurts to laugh.” The smile on her face told him not to be concerned with the pain she mentioned. “Seriously though, what names are sticking out for you?”

 

“Peyton, Wren, and Colette. Those are the three I seem to come back to the most often.”

 

“Those are all so very pretty,” her eyes glistened in the crappy fluorescent lights. “How does one go about choosing the name that a human will be known by for the rest of their life? It’s such a huge decision.”

 

They sat in silence for a few moments, contemplating the enormity of this task, before he interrupted her spiralling thoughts. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, what are your top three?”

 

“Evangeline, Juniper, and Adaline were the girl names I’ve been liking.” They were all classically beautiful. This would be a very tough decision.

 

“I love them all.” He could see her energy beginning to wane. “Let’s contemplate these names, and in the meantime, why don’t you shut your eyes and rest a bit. You look like you’re fading there.”

 

“You’re not wrong,” she giggled out. “It just hit me like a brick wall. I’m suddenly so tired.”

 

Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead once more. “Sleep my love, I’ll be here, keeping watch over you.”

 

“Love you,” she mumbled as she finally succumbed to sleep.

 

“Love you too,” he said quietly, despite knowing that she was already out and likely couldn’t hear him.

 

For the most part he stayed vigilant over her throughout the night, only slightly dozing off when his eyes refused to remain open a moment longer. But he was quick to jump to wakefulness as soon as any nurse or doctor entered the room, asking questions about her and the baby’s status just to further reassure himself of their safety. Finally, a little after six in the morning, he slipped more deeply into unconsciousness, his head falling heavily onto the bed beside Rey’s hand.

 

Several hours later, he awoke to whispered voices, and a hand carding through the hair on the back of his head. Moving to raise his head from the bed, the hand fell away and the voices stopped. He rubbed his eyes and glanced around, seeing Rey awake, hand placed right by where his head just was, and his parents sitting on the other side of her bed. All three faces watched him as his brain attempted to jumpstart into wakefulness.

 

“Something on my face?” He asked testily when they continued to stare and didn’t resume their conversation.

 

“No, we were just taking bets on how much pain you’d be in after sleeping like that for the last four hours.” Han quipped. 

 

“And, by the lack of discomfort on your face, I’m going to say that I won.” Leia responded, holding her hand out in front of Han.

 

“Don’t know what difference it makes, every dime I make basically goes to you anyway.” He grumbled, reaching for his wallet and pulling out a five dollar bill from it, slapping it into her palm before depositing his wallet back into his pocket. 

 

Rey giggled at their antics, before looking over to Ben and affectionately rolling her eyes. “Honestly, though, how are you feeling? I feel awful that you sat here all night.”

 

“I’m fine. More importantly, how are you doing? Any news from the doctors?”

 

“Nothing new this morning. They’ll probably be sending someone in shortly to take the sensors off the baby, then I just have to get cleared for my head injury and they’ll probably let me go home.” The hope was evident in her voice.

 

“The police should be here soon for a statement,” Leia chimed in.

 

“Yeah, about that, you think they’ll be able to find anything on the person who did this?” Ben was like a dog with a bone. He needed to put the person responsible for Rey’s accident to justice.

 

“I’m not sure,” Leia hedged. “We’ll have to ask them. I don’t see why, with a little investigation, they wouldn’t be able to. There were witnesses, after all.”

 

Ben nodded to his mother. He hoped she was right. 

 

Conversation flowed easily from there, until the police arrived to take Rey’s statement. She recounted her memories of the accident.

 

Once the formal report was given, Ben piped up. “What are the odds that we find the person responsible for this?”

 

Rey’s hand, which had been placed gently in his while she told her story, squeezed his comfortingly. His anxiety was palpable.

 

“Well, we’ve got some good news, and some bad news in that regard.” The officer spoke, looking at everyone gathered in the room. “We pulled the camera footage from that traffic light when we got back to the station last night. We’ve got a good vehicle description at this point. But there was something that concerned us quite a bit.”

 

Each member of the Solo family waited for him to continue with bated breath. Tension in the room increased tenfold as they waited.

 

“Do you know anyone who might wish to hurt you, Ms. Niima?” The officer asked, looking at her inquisitively.

 

Confused, Rey responded. “No one I can think of. Why?”

 

“Well, it could be a coincidence, or a matter of you being at the wrong place at the wrong time, but we noticed in the video footage that it appeared the driver of the vehicle had removed their license plate, so we are unable to get an ID based off of the vehicle.”

 

“Why would someone remove their plates? Wouldn’t the risk of getting pulled over for that deter someone from using that tactic to get away with a crime?” Ben asked.

 

“You would think, but not all criminals are too bright.”

 

“Officer, I will be the attorney representing Ms. Niima in all further proceedings with this case. I wonder if you might permit me to get a copy of the photos from the footage. Just in case this goes to trial at some point?” Leia asked, slipping deeply into lawyer mode.

 

“Absolutely, I’ll have someone from the office send them out to you, as well as a copy of Ms. Niima’s report and any eye witness accounts.” He made himself a note to do so when he returned to the office.

 

“Thank you so much, Officer Wexley. For your help last night, as well as for coming all the way out here this morning. We’re so grateful for you and your team.” Leia stood, reaching out to shake the man’s hand. 

 

“Not a problem at all. You folks have a good day, and I hope you get to feeling better soon Ms. Niima.” 

 

Everyone said their goodbyes and the man exited Rey’s room.

 

The Solos looked around at each other, all contemplating the same thing. Was this really an accident? Or did Rey just have awful luck, as the officer said?

 

“Rey, dear, I know you still have another week at your apartment, but I would really feel much more comfortable if you just moved in right now. Without knowing what yesterday was about, and with you getting so much closer to your due date, I don’t want you to be alone right now.” Leia reached out to grab the hand that wasn’t already clasped in Ben’s.

 

Rey sighed, “I’d really love to argue with you on this, but I think you’re probably right. I think last night was just too scary on all of us.” Rey smiled at Leia, before turning to look at Ben for some kind of reassurance.

 

“I would feel better knowing you were there and safe as well,” he told her.

 

“Alright then, I guess we’re doing this. I’m going to need some help with the rest of my things and cleaning the apartment,” she told them, looking specifically from Ben to Han and back again.

 

“Of course, Sunshine,” Han said, patting her leg. “I’ll get Ben’s help with everything before he heads back to school. Which reminds me, have you decided when that will be?”

 

“I’ll probably stay until the weekend, head back on Sunday like last time.”

 

“No, Ben! You’ll miss too much. Finals are coming up.” Rey was almost frantic.

 

Ben caressed her face, pulling her focus solely to himself. “Babe, I need you to focus on healing, and growing this little girl, and let me focus on finishing out the semester.”

 

A gasp from across the room drew their attention to Ben’s parents. Both Han and Leia stared at them, wide eyed and shocked. 

 

Rey laughed, looking between Ben and his parents, “Guess the cats out of the bag.” 

 

“Guess so,” Ben laughed out.

 

Leia’s mouth moved as if she intended to speak, but no sound came from her. Finally she managed to push out a weak, raspy, “Baby girl?” which sent both Rey and Ben into hysterics. Rey clutching her arms tightly around herself, groaning in pain at the end of each peel of laughter, but unable to contain herself regardless.

 

Han had yet to utter a sound, frozen in his shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed, the chapter count has increased. The title of this chapter is a little misleading as it kind of implies that things are wrapping up, but we have one more issue to resolve, and it's going to be a doozy! Stay tuned!
> 
> As usual, thank you so much to my incredible beta [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife) you do so much for me and this fic. I love you!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you enjoyed this first chapter! I've got quite a bit of this story completed already, and am looking to update twice a week. As I stated before, if you would like to discuss this story, or just chat Star Wars (or anything else) you can find me on Twitter [Rogue_Companion](https://twitter.com/Rogue_Companion) or Tumblr [RogueCompanion](https://roguecompanion1812.tumblr.com/)
> 
> I've also begun a Playlist for this fic! Have any suggestions to add? Hit me up!  
> [Youngblood Fic Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qr7pHP08xXmClxt97S3fz)
> 
> Special thanks to my incredible Beta [MyJediLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyJediLife/pseuds/MyJediLife) who is a freaking rockstar!


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